I feel tears run down my face as I look at the 3 pregnancy tests laying on the bathroom counter. All 3 ended up being positive. I have no idea what to do, I am 17. I'm still a kid. How could a kid raise another kid? I was a kid who was pregnant. How could this happen?
I stuff the tests in my purse and exit the bathroom, trying the wipe the tears off my face so my mom wouldn't notice I was crying. I raced up to my room and emptied my bag, throwing all 3 pregnancy tests in the trashcan. I sat on my bed and thought. How did this happen?
I remembered back to 3 weeks ago when I was at the senior Halloween party. There was everything you would imagine at a teenage party, but about 10x worse. There was drugs, alcohol, swearing, drunks, sexy costumes-aka sluts, and the one thing I got myself into...sex. I don't remember much of the experience. All I knew is I was talking with the most self centred person. He was extremely hot so I kept listening to him go on about his motorcycle and how good he looked in a SnapBack. Eventually I pulled into him while he was talking and I can remember my tongue was down his throat and he was fighting back to try and do the same. He lead me into a bedroom and I guess we were both to drunk to remember that 1) we were going to have sex and 2) we needed protection.
I guess Ryan Leon is the baby daddy.
~
At dinner that night I was silent. I let my little brother talk about his day because I sure didn't want to talk about mine. I played with my food, not wanting to eat, to scared I would get sick like I did earlier.
"That's very nice, Tommy." my mother applauded my 6 year old brother. "Sounds like you had a nice day. How about you Beth? How was your day?"
"It was good." I lied, faking a smile.
"That's it?" My dad laughed. "No making smoke in science or painting a mural on the back of the school?"
"Dad I never did any of that stuff." I said sort of rolling my eyes.
"Is something wrong?" My mom asked concerned.
I stayed calm. I didn't want to get emotional. "My day was good, what makes it seem like there is something wrong?"
"Well you usually have something neat to talk about, plus you barely touched your food." my dad said eyeing the big scoop of mashed potatoes still on my plate.
Without even excusing myself from the table I bolted upstairs with a hand covering my mouth. I raced up to the bathroom and I threw up, again.
I sat on my bed with my laptop on my lap. I went onto my web browser and searched one word. The word was abortion. I saw pictures and even attempted to watch a video. It was all to scary for me. How could someone do something so cruel to a human beings? Their own human being!?
I shut my laptop and just sat on my bed. I was so focused on my thoughts that I didn't even notice my mom sit down on my bed.
"Bethany, what's wrong?" My mom said sighing. She said "Bethany" and she sighed. She knew.
I started to cry and shake my head. My mom rubbed my back. "Beth...Im here for you baby." she soothed me with whispers.
"No mom I can't do this!" I yell as tears clogged my throat. I felt as if I was drowning in my sorrow. I was so embarrassed and ashamed of myself.
"We have options." she said as I sat up. My makeup was all over my face. My eyes were bloodshot and my nose was running.
"Mom I can't...thats so cruel. I have no option." I cry more and notice my dad walk in.
"Don't tell me she's pregnant." my dad joked. He was laughing silently at himself until my mom shook her head and I sobbed on her shoulder. I could just tell my dad's expression changed from slightly happy to scared.
"Bethany Kate..." my dad said in disbelief. I could feel him sit on my bed. "We will get through this, I promise."
I didn't know if I could. I didn't know if I could hold on anymore. What will my friends think? What will Ryan think?
