I'm so sorry it took me so long to update. 🙈 I promise the next chapter won't take as long as this one. 🙏🏻
Thank you all so much for your comments and patience. 💖
And the biggest thank you to my wonderful proof reader yourregenboogbubbel11 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼
Den Rest schreibe ich lieber auf deutsch, bevor ich dich am Ende auch noch verglase. Und vielleicht doch lieber persönlich. 🤭
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In the weeks that followed, Agnetha enjoyed the time in which she could fully devote herself to her children.
Being a mother fulfilled her to an extent that she almost managed to convince herself that she was perfectly happy with her life.
That it was enough for her to get along well in their marriage. Which they did. Their relationship was more loving than it had been in a long time.
Only at night, when she lay awake in her bed, exhausted but at the same time too tired to sleep, could she not prevent her thoughts from wandering to the person she sorely missed in all this.
And she couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like to experience all of this with her.
In the haze between waking and sleeping, she couldn’t help but fantasize about her. In her mind she pictured her sitting by the children’s beds, singing them a lullaby.
And this imaginary scene alone gave her a warmer and more contented feeling than reality ever could.
Her last thought before sleep overtook her was that, as much as she had been in love before, this deep, fundamental love she felt for her had an entirely different dimension.
Agnetha hadn’t been so excited about a public event in a very long time as she was about the movie premiere, three weeks after the birth of her son.
She beamed next to Frida as they posed for the press, thinking once again how much Frida was in her element. How much of a star she was born to be. In her fur coat she looked nothing short of a film diva. Radiant and beautiful as always.
But Agnetha caught a gleam in her eyes that she knew had nothing to do with the premiere.
A gleam that made her so happy she couldn’t stop beaming. Not even when Björn took her arm and led her into the foyer. He didn’t leave her side today, but while that might have been too much for her on another day, today she was just happy about it all.
Frida had eagerly awaited this evening. She’d always loved occasions like this, but deep down she knew that wasn’t why she’d longed for this evening.
Seeing Agnetha so happy and radiant three weeks after giving birth was worth more than all the attention she usually enjoyed so much.
But she also noticed how much Björn tried to take care of her. How he didn’t leave her side and didn’t stop holding her hand.
Before her heart could tell her otherwise, she told herself that this was something good.
It was good for Agnetha and she seemed very happy.
Against her impulse to sit next to her, she sat down at the side next to Benny and tried to focus on the evening and the event.
When the movie started and their names appeared on the big screen, Agnetha instinctively wanted to reach out, take Frida’s hand and tell her how proud she was of her. She was proud of them all, but especially of Frida. None of them would have made it under such difficult circumstances. And no one was anywhere near as strong in character as she was.
But Frida wasn’t sitting next to her.
Why was she so far away?
She tried to concentrate on the movie. But the scenes immediately brought her back to the atmosphere, to the contrasting and utterly overwhelming emotions that couldn’t be explained to anyone who hadn’t been in their position. And she felt that even the men couldn’t fully understand it because they seemed to experience everything less emotionally.
But she remembered looking at Frida when they stepped off the plane in Melbourne.
Tears glistening in her beautiful green eyes, reflecting her soul and mirroring her own feelings. She understood. Frida was the only one who would ever understand.
It only took a few minutes for Frida to regret her decision not to sit next to Agnetha. Seeing their moments and memories together on screen and not being able to share them with her, bothered her more than it should. But it wasn’t just the memories that bothered her.
It was Benny’s hand in hers and Björn’s hand holding Agnetha’s.
It was the little things she couldn’t have with her.
Taking her hand, putting her arm around her, expressing her feelings spontaneously without even having to think about it.
Just as she was lost in her thoughts, Agnetha spun around on screen, dancing and wiggling her famous bottom extensively.
Frida smiled in amusement and glanced sideways at her. Only to find her face not at all amused. On the contrary, Agnetha watched the scene in horror, with self-doubt written all over her beautiful face.
Once again Frida regretted sitting so far away. She couldn’t stand seeing her like this. Someone should tell her how beautiful she looked on stage and that she never gave herself enough credit for her performance.
She glanced at Björn, but he didn’t notice any of this. Which was so typical of him. He only stared at her butt but didn’t get her feelings.
But she realized she was being unfair. Björn was a good, loving person and he was clearly making an effort today. She was simply jealous, that was the plain and simple truth, and she hated it.
It would certainly be wise if she avoided looking at the two of them and concentrated on the film instead. Which she actually managed to do for quite a while.
Until her solo performance, which she knew was good.
Before she could think about it, she glanced at Agnetha to see her reaction. And grinned in satisfaction as she saw Agnetha biting her lip.
Agnetha’s eyes were fixed on the screen. On Frida. But unlike before, she wasn’t concerned with comparing herself to her.
It was clear that Frida was the better performer, but that didn’t bother her in the least. On the contrary.
A proud smile played around her lips as she watched her do what she loved so much. And she did it so damn well. It wasn’t long before Agnetha caught herself biting her lip.
She struggled to keep her face neutral, thinking whoever designed these ultra-short pants for Frida should be praised and damned at the same time.
But she should suppress these thoughts before they could be read in her face.
After a while, another scene caught her attention. In the movie, it was only visible for a split second, and perhaps viewers wouldn’t notice it at all... But she remembered that moment as vividly as the realization it brought.
In the scene where they were harassed by journalists in the hotel corridor, Agnetha turned away from the crowd and instinctively clung to the person she felt safest with. Except that this person wasn’t Björn, who was also standing next to her and who everyone would have expected it to be.
She looked to the side and caught Frida’s warm gaze. She had noticed too. She remembered. She understood.
Once again she longed to be close to her and talk to her.
But Frida seemed so unreachable that evening. Even after the movie ended, she soon excused herself and headed toward the restrooms.
But Agnetha wouldn’t leave her alone. Not this time. Not after weeks of looking forward to seeing her again.
