Wilbur Soot x Reader /// You comfort me

15: Monday

I guessed that he was just not coming today, which was fine. I could work a bit in peace and I could go whenever I wanted to. There was not someone in the other room that made me want to stay. I was distracting myself again. I didn't want to but I forced myself to work on my essay. It was a horrible work and I blamed myself everyday why I had to pick such a bad job. I could've picked anything, but I decided to choose this horrible one. I really wanted to do something else, but I just didn't know what, nor how to end this job. It was hard to get a new job while you need to pay so much and you don't even know what to do.

Since I was in Wilbur's stream and I learned a bit about streaming it wouldn't go out of my head again. Normally I was really self-critical on myself, but the viewers of Wilbur seemed liked me. They somehow liked me more than I did. I didn't know why they did, but it was great. They gave me so much love and I wanted to experience that everyday. But I knew I couldn't. It would be hard to get an own fan base and if it doesn't work, then I still have to find another work. It could also just work for a few years, months or even just weeks. And what would I do then? Then I would still have to look for something. It could be that I have to do this job again. And this would be nothing I want to do. I needed to find something I could do for forever.

<><><>

I worked for another few hours straight. In the meantime it was already 5pm and I still heaven't heard anything about Wilbur. Normally he would've been here already, so I was now almost sure he wouldn't come today. But since I was leaving now too, it didn't matter at all. I just saved all my work and turned my computer off. Then I stood up and closed the window. I looked outside for a few seconds. It was already slowly getting dark. The weather was good though. There were no clouds but the streets were still empty. I yawned and walked back to my desk. I quickly packed all my stuff together and headed then outside.

I quickly headed out of the building and then straight home. I wasn't in the mood to go anywhere today and since I've seen Sky yesterday I would visit them another time. When I arrived at home I instantly went over to my room. I was really tired now, what didn't surprised me at all. I worked a lot today and all of the writing and staring at the monitor made my eyes tired. I lay down in my bed and got my phone. I started to watch some Tik Tok's and slowly got lost in them. I also didn't want to do anything today so it actually was okay. It was okay to take a bit rest, I slowly started to learn that. I just had to eat something. I didn't feel like eating but I remembered what Wilbur told me. I needed to. My body needed it, even though it didn't look like it.

After a few minutes, probably half and hour, I switched to YouTube. I started to watch some clips from my favorite content creators. Since I met Will and discovered what he was doing I found a lot people that I found comfort in. I didn't got that feeling of safeness like I got it from Wilbur, I was also still alone, and they would also never be as comforting as Wilbur was to me, but they still made me feel happy and that was all that mattered at the time. Since I was going through some really shit time, this was exactly what I needed. Just something that would cheer me up, and these people really did.

<><><>

A bit later I motivated myself to go to the kitchen. I started to make myself some food, which I ate while I sat on the couch. I also started to watch a new series again. I wasn't really motivated to do anything productive, what was also promoted by the fact that it was only Monday. I still had the complete week in front of me. It was a hard time and I couldn't wait any longer until Sky was finally home again. I enjoyed the time alone really much but it was also nice to have someone near to you who you could talk to. Sky also always gave me my personal time where I could be alone but they were still there for me if I would need them. Of course they had some stuff to do with uni but it was not as much, so they always had time for me. As I sat there and thought about it I realized how much I actually wanted to have them back.

Especially because Wilbur also didn't have time all the time, just like today. Not that I would need somebody all of the time, it was just nice to know that you could. It was nice to know that you could go up to someone and talk to them. I trusted Wilbur and I knew that he wanted to help me, but I guessed that this would be too much for him. I sighed and looked back at the tv. I haven't listened, nor watched anything of the episode, so I started the episode again and continued my food. I forced myself to eat as much as I could, before I put the dishes into the kitchen. Afterwords I just sat back into the living room and continued to watch the series. I tried to distract me from the following week. I tried not to think about it anymore.

It was even harder right now, since I now had to work even more than before, so I could get ready on time. And also I had to think about what should happen after this job. I knew that it couldn't go on like this, but I also had no idea how to change something. I lay down and wrapped myself into a blanket. Everything of this made me sick. I couldn't think about it even more. It made me done. It was horrible. And it was even worse because it was so important. It was important and I had to think about it. But I couldn't. So what should I do? Could I do something? Did I need help? No. I did everything on my own until today, so I could do that as well. Everything will be okay. Just calm down.

<><><>

A few hours later I managed it to stand up again. I turned the tv off and headed over into the bathroom. I put my hair out of my face and started to brush my teeth. Afterwords I washed my face and put my hair down again. I just slowly walked into my bedroom and let me fall into my bed. I was tired but I put on some videos on my phone on anyways. I didn't care about my body that needed the sleep. There were too many things that were going on in my head that stopped me from sleeping. That stopped me from stay chill. I felt like I could start crying every second, since I was so stressed. It was a horrible feeling, though the videos and in general movies and series helped me to distract me from that. I listed to the voices and closed my eyes. Soon enough I fell asleep. For once I was calm and not stressed at all.

<><><><><><><><><><>

(2192 words)

Already a new chapter? Fuck yeah! I'm trying my best to upload here now more often, and I hope it will work:') I hope you enjoyed this new chapter! Have a good morning/day/night:D

- Luma