Speechless | Spencer Reid FanFiction ✔️

Chapter 60: Reunions

I wake up a couple of hours later and know I'm about to be sick. I reach over to the table and grab one of those throw up bag that hospitals and planes have and violently vomit the food I ate earlier into the bag. Spencer woke up when I started flailing, looking for the bags, because I was looking for something to throw up in. At first he was panicked until he realized I was going to be sick. Then, he went to hold my hair and rub my back, like a good fiancé. I don't even care how disgusting I look right now, I'm just focused on how much the incision from my surgery, my broken ribs, and collapsed lung all hurt as I heave the McDonald's up.
Spencer presses the button to call a nurse as I cry in pain and throw up. He doesn't know what to do, but he's trying to help. The nurse comes in and walks up to me and inspects me. She quickly asks me "do you usually react to anesthesia this way?" I shrug my shoulders because that's all I have the energy for at the moment and Spencer answers for me "she's only ever had anesthesia when she had her wisdom teeth out, I think." The nurse nods and says "I'll get some anti nausea meds put in your IV ASAP, hang in there." I nod as she leaves, coughing as I try to regain some semblance of composure. At some point in all the chaos, Spencer had readjusted the hospital bed up, so I leaned back against the bed and just tried to breathe.
Spencer asks me "did you get sick after getting your wisdom teeth removed?" I nod "I think so. I was 17, so I might not remember it very well. I remember getting sick the first night and thinking I had probably just swallowed so much blood from the procedure that it upset my stomach." Spencer nods "I bet it was mostly because of the anesthesia. We need to remember this in the future to ask for anti nausea medicine ahead of time." I nod "that would probably be a good idea." I close my eyes for a second and the next thing I know, the nurse is coming back in with medication. She scans the medicine and scans my ID bracelet to ensure she's giving the right medication to the right patient. She then puts the medication in my IV and I almost instantly start to feel better. I don't know if it's a placebo effect or not, but I'll take it.
The nurse looks between us and says "if anybody asks, I told y'all he couldn't sleep in bed with you." I smile weakly and nod. After the nurse leaves, Spencer kisses me on the forehead and tells me "I'm going to go to the bathroom. Can I get you anything?" I shake my head and give him a half smile as he gets up and goes to the bathroom. He comes back almost immediately. He hands me a cup of water and says "swish this around your mouth and spit it into the dry cup so the acid from your throw up doesn't break down the enamel on your teeth." I nod and do as he asks. I give him a sarcastic smile after the fact and say "so romantic, Spence." He gives me a weak smile and then goes back to the bathroom to freshen up.
Again, I close my eyes for what feels like a second and he comes back out in what feels like 10 seconds. I check the clock, though, and it's actually been 15 minutes. He gives me a smile as he walks towards me "do you want to freshen up or do you want to go back to sleep?" I groan and tell him "sleep." Spencer nods "okay, let's get back to sleep. I bet the anti nausea medicine is probably making you drowsy, too." I hum and nod "sounds right." He chuckles and climbs back in the bed, pulling me closer to him "let's go back to sleep, baby, get some rest." I can't even respond before my eyes are fluttering shut as I feel the scent of Spencer - the scent of his shampoo and cologne all mixing together to make him smell like serenity and books - enveloping me in a bubble of safety and lulling me to sleep.

•••••

        I wake up a few hours later and feel much better. Spencer is asleep behind me, he's gently holding me lower on my stomach than he normally does. I think it's because he doesn't want to hurt my incision or any of my other ailments among my myriad of injuries. I have to use the restroom, so I gently remove his hand and try not to wake him before slowly moving to get up. I get both feet on the floor and take a deep breath before trying to stand up while holding onto the IV pole. I stand up and my entire abdomen feels like it's on fire. Spencer and the nurse helped me to the bathroom last time and it wasn't near as bad, but maybe the anesthesia hadn't worn off yet or something. I decide I can do it myself without waking up Spencer or calling a nurse. I mean it's just going to the bathroom, I'm a grown woman and should be able to do it myself.
        I stand from the bed, leaning one hand on the mattress while the other has a death grip on the railing of the bed. I try to stand and it hurts so bad that I cry out. Spencer immediately wakes up and jumps up to help me. He asks me "hey what's wrong?" I sniffle and say "I just had to pee. I thought I could go by myself." Spencer looks down before looking back up and saying "baby, you're going to have to take it easy for these next few days. Your body has been through a lot, so it might not be able to bounce back to like it was." I look down and say "I thought I could at least walk across the room by myself." Spencer hums and says "I bet you can in a day or two, those wounds are just really fresh and localized to one area, so it's going to be a bit painful for now."
         I nod and sit silently for a second. I look at Spencer and ask "can you help me walk to the bathroom?" He nods with a tight lipped smile and stands to help me. He positions me so I'm leaning into his left side. He holds me to him by my left hip while lifting up some of my weight. Spencer may be skinny, but he's actually really strong. We walk there together, slowly but surely. It still hurts pretty bad, but not as much as when I tried to go by myself.
          I stand in the bathroom, leaning against the sink and look at Spencer, waiting for him to leave. He stares back at me and, I assume, waits for me to use the bathroom. I look at him and say "um can I have some privacy please?" Spencer looks surprised at my question and just says "oh uh...yeah okay." He looks hurt and for some reason that just makes me mad. I tell Spencer "the last few times I've been naked or even half naked it's been a show for multiple people to see and I would like, for the first time in a while, to be alone. Private." Spencer looks shocked and I look away as I tear up and say with a choked voice "I've been beaten and cut into and poked and prodded nonstop for almost two days now. Just let me have a moment alone to use the bathroom. Please." Spencer doesn't say anything, he just nods and leaves, slowly shutting the door behind him.
         I slowly drop my underwear and pajama pants and sit down to pee, I cry out in pain a little as I fold my body to sit down on the toilet. While I'm sitting there, every repressed emotion from the last day hits me. I'm angry, sad, scared, and relieved all at once. I hug myself, wrapping my arms around my chest. I try not to cry, but it just hits me all at once. I'm so tired. I just want everything to be like how it was in New York. That was the last time things were normal, before I was abducted, before Emily died. What did I do to deserve all of this? I don't know how long I've been sitting here, but once I finally feel some semblance of normal, I grab onto the rail by the toilet and use it to stand. I use my IV pole to make it the last few steps to the sink.
I wash my hands on autopilot until I look in the mirror for the first time since I came to the hospital. There's a dark bruise around my neck with purple and yellow discolorations. There's a cut on my forehead that's slowly closing up with the butterfly bandaids and I have a black eye with yellow and purple discolorations around that as well. My hair is disgustingly greasy and frizzy. I just look beaten and haggard. I feel so distraught, I feel like, in a way, I've hit rock bottom. I had no choice in any of this, but it still feels like it was all my fault. After my disassociation period has ended, I grip the rails and move to the door, opening it myself.
Spencer is standing outside the door, waiting on me. He looks scared and I immediately feel bad. I tear up and tell him "I'm so sorry, Spence. You didn't deserve me snapping at you." Spencer wraps me in his arms as he shakes his head. He responds "you have nothing to be sorry about. I was crowding you. You deserve more space than I've been giving you." I shake my head "I don't want space, I just don't want to feel..like a bug under a glass, I guess? I know I'm here so they can help me get better, but I'm so tired of the poking and prodding and I hate all of these people seeing so much of me. You were the first person to see me naked besides my parents when I was young and I guess besides Harrison. And probably my gynecologist. Now pretty much the entire team has seen me naked and so many healthcare professionals. I just feel exposed and I want to feel safe."
       Spencer nods "I know how insecure you can be, and I know that no amount of me reassuring you that you are absolutely drop dead gorgeous will convince you. You have to see it for yourself." I sniffle "how can I be absolutely drop dead gorgeous with a black eye and a chest tube, Spence?" He gives me a soft smile and says "you look like a bad ass absolutely drop dead gorgeous woman." I feel my cheeks turn pink as I avert my gaze from his. Normally he wouldn't let me out of this, but he doesn't need me to worry about this right now. He tells me "why don't we get you back in bed, maybe later we can get you to walk around the hallway if you feel up to it?" I nod, leaning into him and letting him help me back to bed. I thought I wouldn't be able to fall asleep again, but I'm out like a light as soon as Spencer cozies up to me under the covers.