Chapter Forty Nine - His Letter

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"I don't care," Connie stated, stubbornly crossing her arms across her chest.

I just stared at her blankly. "You don't care that Jackson just came to see me to ask me for permission to date you. Me, Connie."

She avoided eye contact with me before responding. "Let's go check on Marcus. What's going on with that? Are you guys finally getting back together?"

What was going on with Marcus? "You know, it's hard to sa- don't change the subject! Jackson's a really good guy. I know you like him. Even Amanda knows you like him. That's saying something since she's completely oblivious to general emotion."

"I take offence to that," Amanda rolled her eyes as she leaned against the wall in my bedroom. As I dropped off food at Marcus' apartment, I snuck out without seeing him and texted Connie and Amanda an SOS signal.

I guess if I was being honest, it really hurt to see him. I couldn't really put into words what I was feeling with him but I was hurt and it hurt more to see him casually like everything was okay, so I was avoiding him entirely.

"As you should," I snarked back. "You should really work on that."

"Meh," She shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly.

I ignored Amanda and turned to Connie, "Connie, if you don't care about him then ignore this. But if there's a part of you that likes him - and I'm pretty damn sure there is - I couldn't live with myself if you're holding back because of me. Because if the last couple days are any indication of how great you and Amanda are it's that you're both beyond incredible. Connie, you really are amazing and you really do deserve someone who's pretty great too."

"Well damn," Amanda sniffled, "If that doesn't change your mind, nothing will." I looked over at Amanda evasively rubbing the corner of her eye.

"Amanda!" Connie gushed, "We finally cracked you!"

"You guys suck," Amanda laughed but Connie and I both knew what those words really meant and we loved her all the more for them.

"So, what do you say?" I asked excitedly, gaze set on Connie as she chewed her lower lip.

She finally let out a slow grin and I felt instant relief that she was finally going for what she wanted.

"Just go on," Amanda interrupted. "Go on. Get," she exaggerated loudly.

Connie spared us a final glance before dashing out of the room and Amanda and I collapsed on my bed. "It really feels great to help people, Mabel. When you asked me to be your guide through this whole "Jackson is amazing" phase, I knew I would help you, but I didn't know how much."

I laughed using my hand to slap her arm as we lay on our backs. "Shut up."

Amanda braced her weight on her arm as she peered over at me curiously. "Are you really going to let him go?"

I shrugged. "Honestly? I don't know and for the first time, I don't want to push where I'm not wanted."

Amanda frowned at me, "No one who sees you two together thinks you're not wanted."

I knew deep down that was true, but if I wasn't shown that, I couldn't stay in a one sided relationship. I didn't even know what Marcus was thinking so all of this was a moot point anyhow.

"Max is waiting for me outside. But I have something for you," Amanda walked out of my room and returned with a black garbage bag.

"You shouldn't have," I commented, sarcasm dripping from every word.

She shut me a look, "Open the bag. You know I suck at wrapping."

I took the bag tentatively with two fingers and began to peel it open. "Still, a garbage bag, Amanda? I can show you how to go into a store and buy a gift bag if you need me to-" my words were cut off by the feel of leather. A special leather. A leather that I looked great it (in all humbleness). "Your jacket!" I screeched.

Amanda laughed, "I figured it's brought me enough luck and it's time to pass it on. Plus, it reminds me of my parents and I can't be bothered with that."

I wrapped my arms around her, "You're the best!"

"I know. You going to be alright?" Amanda asked gently.

I nodded at her, "Go on, get."

She smiled, bouncing out of the room and waving her hand at me.

I fell back down on my bed. I didn't know how long I lay there, staring at my ceiling but at a certain point I got a text from Miranda saying that her, Matt, and Joey were headed out and would be back in the morning.

I sat until I couldn't feel my butt anymore.

I sat until a small knock sounded at my door.

I peeled my body off of my bed and dragged my half asleep legs to the door and opened it to an empty hallway. I was about to let out a frustrated sigh for using any amount of energy for this ridiculousness until I swivelled around and saw an envelope taped to my front door.

I yanked it off and flipped it around to see something inscribed on the back which made my heart flutter in my chest. Open when... you're in love. I knew that handwriting.

I slammed my door shut, my fingers trembling around the envelope. I could say without a doubt in my mind that this letter applied to me (though I would have ripped it open even if it hadn't).

My nimble fingers tore through the envelope and opened the letter sitting inside.

Maybie,

Where do I begin? Let me start with how big of a moron I've been. I was selfish and in pushing you away, I pushed away the thing I hold closest to my heart in this world. It's always been you that I've been waiting for. It's always been you my heart's been yearning for.

I used to think love was selfish until I met you. The sweetest, most thoughtful girl that I could ever conjure up in my mind, coming to my door offering to do my laundry, asking me for advice. I thought it was ironic at the time - you seeking advice from a broken man - but I didn't realize just how much it was at the time. You taught me to love selflessly. Without asking for anything in return.

You taught me this with every action you've taken since we've met. I've never met someone who cares as much as you do and it's inspiring to me everyday that I see it from you - and I don't have to look hard. It's resulted in me falling so hopelessly in love with you that all I can do is lay here, alone in my room, while my soul aches to be close to you.

I have so much to thank you for, but I'm selfish, and this is something I want to do in person.

So, here's the plea of a selfish man on the road to bettering himself: can you forgive me even though I don't deserve an ounce of your forgiveness? Because I don't think I can live another moment without you by my side.

Waiting forever,
Marcus

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There's just one more chapter left! Thank you all for following along for so long. I appreciate and love every single one of you ❤️

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