Lay It All On Me [H.S]

11.

I grinned at my phone like a maniac, still feeling the after-effects of the chemo easing into my bloodstream which was making me feel incredibly woozy.

My conversation with Harry had been friendly and warm, and dare I say it, really welcoming.

All the nerves I had felt previously melted away with the way he was messaging me via DM on Twitter.

He was coming across like he did genuinely care about me and how grateful he was that I had taken the chance to follow him.

Crazy right, especially considering we had only met two weeks ago.

Clare was still sleeping beside me on the couch, but I was so engrossed with messaging Harry, I didn't sleep a wink throughout my chemo session which was unusual for me.

I knew in the back of my mind that I would be exhausted later, but with the way I was feeling right now, I honestly didn't care.

I was happy, content and he was taking my mind of things, majorly.

"How are you feeling right now? Is it getting any better? x."

I stared at Harry's message, wondering if he could sense my mood through my typing.

I wasn't aware if he could tell that I was exactly okay with things, but at the same time, I also didn't want to burden him with what I had been told earlier by Clare and Rachel.

But it was good to talk to friends about stuff like that, wasn't it?

Even if that friend was a guy?

"I'm feeling okay. Not so sure about inside though. x."

"Inside? What do you mean, Iz? x."

I sighed longingly, wondering if this was too much too soon to be telling him this.

I mean, it was personal, but I figured that if I needed to trust him, to figure out what we were as friends, then surely this was a great start?

But you haven't even told Dan yet, and he's your boyfriend.

My inner demon was spinning her turmoil into me, and it was making me feel like shit.

I just needed somebody to talk too, somebody who would just listen to me and not make any judgemental comments about me or my choices.

Dan was too emotionally involved, and so was Phoebe, and I mean I understood they wanted the best for me, but sometimes, I just wanted to let go and be heard.

So I did let go.

"Had a bit of news today. Not sure how to handle it, if I'm honest Harry. x."

His message came through almost immediately.

"Do you want to talk about it, Izzy? I'm here if you want too. I've got nothing on, so I'm not busy at all. x."

I sighed, biting my lip.

Fuck it.

"It wasn't brought to my attention before I started my chemo that I could freeze my eggs for the future... well, y'know. Children and stuff. I never really thought about it until day, but a friend of mine was telling me to get my eggs frozen... and I was told today that I should have had them done before I started chemotherapy. So, I could be infertile. I don't know how to handle that if I'm honest. x."

I read back the message and closed my eyes instantly.

Why did I just blow it on him like that?