R e n e g a d e s 🕯 High&Low

vol.20: Cupcakes

「I'm not afraid, to tear it down and build it up again.」

I've never felt comfortable around drunk people, even online, because they're usually really pushy and don't possess a filter which, for an awkward introvert like me, that's an actual nightmare. But Cobra earned those drinks and I'm sure it's helped to numb the pain his body feels. Just this once, I'll accept the responsibility of looking after his drunken ass.

At first, he was doing pretty well walking on his own, but that ability quickly deteriorated as we got closer to his home. It wasn't long before he was leaning most of his weight on me, half-conscious. I held back a sigh, holding his arm tight around my neck so he wouldn't fall. Every minute or so, he would mumble something under his breath but his words were mostly indistinguishable to me. I heard 'Inoki,' 'Oya,' and 'Love.'

"Hey, we're home." I lightly slapped his cheek before reaching into my pocket to grab the spare key he had given me. He groaned in protest, lifting his head and taking some of his weight off of me so I could unlock the door. The second it was open, he rushed inside and fell onto the bed. "Oi, we gotta treat your wounds, remember?"

"Go away," he muttered, swatting at the air.

"At least change out of those clothes first."

He groaned as I pulled him up to sit on the side of the bed, clearly wanting to just pass out. He tried to kick his boots off and when that didn't work, he leaned down to untie them but his drunken state made that quite a difficult task which upset him more with each failed attempt. I shook my head, pushing him back so I could kneel down and untie them.

Once his shoes were off, I pulled him to his feet and shoved some clean clothes into his arms. I wasn't kind enough to help him change so it took him a while before he accomplished the task, yawning loudly as he did so. He dropped his dirty clothes onto the floor and immediately forgot they were there, causing him to trip. His body collided with mine, sending us both falling back onto the bed.

Jesus, he does not look like he'd be that heavy. "Get offa me, you're heavy." I grunted, shoving at his shoulder but he wasn't having it.

"No," he mumbled into my neck, arms wrapping like chains around my body. "Comfy."

I sighed, knowing the drunken man wouldn't be moving any time soon so I tried to get comfortable. Well, as comfortable as one can with a drunk man sprawled out on top of them. A few minutes passed by and his breathing evened out, so I assumed he was asleep. "You're so lucky I love you," I muttered, resting one hand on his back and bringing the other to run through his blonde hair, matted with sweat.

He suddenly snuggled closer, his voice barely audible. "I'm glad you're here..."

My heart picked up speed at the thought that he was still awake, thus hearing what I had said. It's true that I really do love him but it's the same for all of Sannoh. Most people may find it weird, especially in Japan, but I get close to people too quickly and I love too easily. As much as I hate to admit it, my heart has already opened up to these guys. I definitely hadn't planned on letting them know that, especially not by telling them I love them.

Would he get the wrong idea and think I'm in love with him? Or would he just not remember? I hoped it would be the latter, but with my luck it'll be the only thing he remembers about this night. Then there's the issue of what he said.

His voice had been so soft that maybe I misheard. If I hadn't, does he mean that or is it just the ramblings of a drunken man? I want so desperately for Sannoh to accept me, to love me as much as I do them. It feels impossible, though. Even if they do come to consider me a friend, why would they ever come to love me?