After All This Time (Steddie)

Ch. 9: Burst

TW; anxiety, homophobia

It feels like the rest of the night flew by and the next thing I know it's the morning again and I have to yet again, drag my ass to work early as fuck in the morning. Eddie is still passed out on my bed, taking up most of the room and all of the pillows. I gently kiss him on the cheek and leave him a note:

Sleeping beauty~
Work again. Be back around 3:15.
You don't have to stay but I'd love to come home to you. No pressure.
I love you.
-The best boyfriend ever S.H.
Ps: Don't burn down my apartment.

I carefully get dressed and leave the house and quiet as I can be to make sure not to wake him. He looks so peaceful and comfortable. I'm so grateful I have tomorrow off again. I hate working mornings. Better than the alternative, though. I have night shifts to look forward to on Monday and Tuesday. Yuck. I think I mostly just hate working there? If I found a job I actually enjoyed maybe it would be different.

I drive into work and do the normal opening shift duties, and turn on the coffee pot in the back room. First customer comes in. "Hey welcome in, how can I-oh. Hey." A familiar face waltzes in clearly not knowing I work here still. Tyler, an old friend of mine from high school. My stomach drops.

"Steeeeeve! Holy shit man long time no see!" He sends an awkward as fuck smile my way. I instantly do not wanna be here. This is one of the dudes that used to peer pressure me into being such an asshole. I grimace and watch him walk around to get some movies. He manages to come back to the counter with his choices and I ring him up.

"So how's life been? I've heard some shit recently and I just cannot seem to believe it."

What does he mean by that? Fuck. My stomach is turning, and my hands shake. "Oh? What did you hear?"

"Well a couple of our old friends were out at some karaoke bar the other night in the next city over and they swore they saw you with that freak Munson."

I try to swallow the lump in my throat that keeps forming. "Hah, oh yeah... that probably wasn't me. I dunno man." No way he's gonna buy that. I can't keep my cool.

"No? That's real funny because I heard that they saw you kiss him. Swore it was you. You're kinda unmistakeable, Harrington. You some kinda fag now?"

"No man I uh... I don't know what they think they saw but..."

My heart drops. My perfect little bubble completely burst. "Well. See you later, man." Fuck fuck fuck. He walks out of the store and turns back to look me up and down, shaking his head in disgust. I don't know what to do. I feel sick to my stomach. Oh god what am I gonna do?

I grab the phone and call my apartment and pray Eddie answers. "Uh, hello? Sorry Steve's not home right now but I'd be happy to take a-" "Eds it's me. I was just... calling to check to see if you were... uh. Still there."

"Where else would I be, darlin?" His tone is soft. I clearly woke him up. "Sorry if I woke you I just.. I got worried about something and wanted to check."

"Nope still here. Was sleeping but now I'm not. I could come hangout with you if you want?"

"Uh no just... stay there okay?" My voice is shaky. I'm sure he can tell. I want to cry and curl up in a ball.

"What's wrong?" He sounds concerned. I don't know if he should be or not. I'm scared for what could happen to him if Tyler or one of the other many other biggot assholes in this town found him right now. Apparently they all know about me and Eddie. And that alone, gives me the worst anxiety. I couldn't stand for him to get hurt because of me. I can take my own beatings when they inevitably come. But for him to potentially get hurt over a kiss? I thought we would be safer in a different town. Not seeing people that we normally see. I put a target on his back and my own. Fuck.

"I.. Tyler came in just now. Eddie, they all know." He's quiet for a minute. I hear him take a deep breath. "Okay."

"Okay? Eddie this is so far from okay... if you get hurt because I was overly confident in not being seen by any of these hick ass people...I don't know what I would do with myself.... I'm so sorry."

"Shh. Stop it. Don't over think. I'm fine. You're fine. Right? You're fine?"

"I mean physically yeah I'm alright..."

"Then we're fine. We'll deal with whatever comes at us. Together. Okay?" His voice is serene and comforting. How is he so collected right now and Im falling apart at the seams?

"How are you so fucking calm right now?" I shake my head in complete disbelief.

"Sugar, I've been dealing with people like this my whole life. We'll be okay. Just uh. Maybe I'll meet you when you're off work? I don't want you alone leaving there. Even if it's the middle of the day I don't want... I don't want anything to happen."

Something could happen? What could fucking happen? I'm gonna get my ass kicked and I already know it's coming. I've never been good at fighting... fuck.

"I appreciate that... I'm gonna go now okay? I should focus on just getting through today."

"Baby?" His voice is warm. I miss him already.

"Mhm?"

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"Deep breaths. I'll see you later."

I hang the phone up and try to breath. I'm not okay. But I can't do anything about it right now. Focus on getting through the day. One moment at a time. I'll be okay for now. They wouldn't jump me at work. Would they?

A few hours pass by, I feel like I'm waiting for a bomb to go off. Every time someone comes in my heart drops down into my stomach and I feel like I'm going to throw up. This is awful. I don't wanna leave this place.

Robin walks in with a weird look on her face, looking around the store scanning for me. "Holy shit there you are! Thank god you're okay!"

"Yep here I am. In one piece. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Steve, have you seen your car?" She doesn't look at me directly this time. Her eyes are on the floor.

"No? I've been in here the whole time... my car? What about it?"

"You uh. You might not want to drive it for awhile, babes."

"Robin, what the fuck happened to my car?"