Deception. Betrayal. Mistrust.
It seems the closer Rayne gets to the truth, the more she finds herself wanting to run away from it. It's complex and terrifying-more than she ever fathomed.
New family members, good and bad, pop out at her like a br...
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𝙃arder.
Scrub harder.
Mason dragged his loofah against his pelvis tightly enough that his skin was beginning to rub raw. He didn't care. With a hand pressed to the wall and hot water trickling down his back, he disappeared underneath the steam in the room; his eyes felt like dried-up wells—incapable of spilling a single drop of water, even when he felt at his lowest.
Training his vision on the movement he was performing, he watched the way the soap suds collected and washed away every single touch that had been pressed to this area of his body. His jaw clenched and unclenched. His hand was gripping the loofah so hard, his veins were popping out.
And all he could think about was a single question.
What is so special about this part of me?
Between what Kai said to him that day at the house, and now Maverick, he couldn't wrap his head around it. All he was ever good for was sex. All he was looked at for was sex. Each and every person that romantically entered his life only wanted him for one fucking thing—hell, even Blake acquired this during certain parts of their relationship.
Letting out a noise between a growl and a grunt, he chucked the stupid fucking scrub onto the floor of the shower and slammed his hand into the wall. He closed his eyes and shook his head, letting the feeling of the water bring him down to Earth.
There were only so many times for this to occur for him to realize that maybe others weren't the problem. Maybe it was him. Maybe if he just put out more often like Maverick and Blake (previously) wanted, things would be easier. What if he had just kept his feelings to a simmer and let Kai use him like he said he wanted to?
Maybe he'd be happier if he just bid by the wants of them.
Releasing a deep breath, he reached over and turned off the shower, stepping from it. With a towel wrapped around his waist, he entered the main room and proceeded to dress.
He knew deep down that the actions of others really had no effect on who he was as a person, but he couldn't help but feel guilty about it anyway. For as long as he could remember, he let the wills and desires of those surrounding him bounce off him like a ball—he was there for whatever they may need. Now that he was disregarding those and only focusing on himself, it was like the downward spiral he's been stuck in for almost two months was about to swallow him.
"Fuck," he whispered to no one.
Sitting down, fully dressed, he ran a towel over the wet strands of his hair and just thought.
He thought about everything he went through with Kai – all of the lust, care, and forbidden love between them; he knew that realistically, no matter what he uttered that day, he was full of it. And if he wasn't – he wasn't going to let his feelings overwhelm his own.
