Watching Accelerator

Railgun S 11

"Angels of the magic side have absolutely no free will and are considered messengers of god because they follow his orders. Some malfunction and become fallen angels or they are better known as demons. Demons and angels are pretty similar, but the important thing that you must remember is who they take orders from. They are extremely powerful, even with the limit they are set upon being bound to earth by a core of some sort." Touma continues, wincing a bit because he has had to fight way too many of them to not know their strength.

"Ok, angels and demons exist and are powerful. So, we should try to avoid them at all costs, especially the ones working for the magic side, then?" Yoshikawa muses, because they don't sound like they would really be willing to listen to anything said to them.

"Yes. However, I have never seen an angel of any sorts with black wings, much less ones like those and without a halo on top of that. You are unique in that way, likely because you are an Esper and an extremely strong one at that." Index mutters, because she honestly can not think of a reason why he would be able to have no halo, never mind for his wings to manifest in such a way, spiraling towers of pure darkness.

"And from that, we're going right into the next thing : What the hell is with you and your casual way of sacrificing yourself and abnormal reactions to things?!? No one should be so used to dead bodies or blood or death in general, but you act like none of it bothers you, despite the fact that I know it does. Why?" Yoshikawa demands, because she has seen this asshole after he first started killing, he was in fact against killing them, and he's become desensitized, but to a far greater degree than necessary.

Accelerator winces, he'd have rather not answer that question but he'd already promised himself after he woke from his nightmare - blood, so much of it, everywhere, soaking into his skin, hands and arms limp just barely in view, but he knows not all of them were the right skin tone, shape or length to be the Sisters - that he would answer honestly, no matter how much it hurt or exposed him. He still can't help the pain or almost monotone tone as he answers. "I never wanted to kill people. I only ever did for self defense before I was part of the project, and so having to kill her, kill them so many times, I'm pretty sure I started to disassociate after certain parts of the experiments were reached, because it was easier than facing the things I was doing, willing or not. Of course, that does not change the fact that I did it, but I know that I have not quite kicked the disassociation when things happen, or the fact that I tend to break so bad at certain smells or sounds or even colors that I put a wall, and anything else I can, between my emotions and I so I can do what needs to be done." 

"That's not healthy! Disassociating at certain times is not going to help you, though I can not say I blame you for doing so during the project, but there is no reason for you to still be doing it. I know part of it is also that you became desensitized to the darkness of humanity pretty early on, so only about 1/4 of that actually comes from disassociation and a larger chunk can be attributed to PTSD." Yomikawa counters, because she hates that he is doing something so unhealthy still despite them offering support and help to him, even before they got to this damn room.

"I think we  can help with the PTSD and the disassociation, but you will have to talk to us and let us know what does work and what really does not, you understand?" Heaven interjects, can tell that a large part of his reactions is PTSD, he started disassociating in response to the amount of trauma, and other shit happening to him that he could not stop. Yomikawa nods to the man, because she'll be talking to him later and dragging Yoshikawa with her, because they both have a handle or at least a bit of control on their PTSD and issues, so they know best what to look for, but they aren't always going to know what to do. Last Order has showed a few signs as well which has the woman concerned. 

"Also, the attempt at eating breakfast was appreciated, but you really didn't eat much. Is there something wrong?" Index asks, because even Mikoto and Touma who are not black holes had managed to eat more, the albino himself barely managing half his food before he offered it to the others.