DUSK TILL DAWN , MILEVEN AU

5.

el sat down on the floor of her bedroom, her legs crossed with a large textbook in front of her with multiple notebooks.

her round glasses rested on her nose, a messy bun rested on the top of her head as her shorter strands covered her face a bit.

she copied some of notes, making sure she remembered every single piece of information for the upcoming quiz.

her last one before the year ended in a few months.

a knock came on her door and she made sure to grab a cardigan to cover her arms where some bruises and little cuts laid.

cuts made from when she hit things.

"come in," she called in gently and the door opened before ava come in. "hi, i brought you dinner because you didn't come down."

"oh, thank you. you didn't have to," el opened her arms and ava set down the food on the floor before falling into her arms.

el kissed her hair as ava responded. "i didn't want you to miss out,"

el smiled gently. "i'm not sure mom and.. and brenner would have liked that."

ava shrugged. "i didn't care." she said and turned. "are you studying? what's all this?"

"it's notes for an upcoming quiz. we finished exams so teachers are just throwing quizzes in our face," el explained to her as ava nodded, "oh,"

el smiled tiredly.

"have you heard from harvard?" ava asked and el shook her head. "no, but i should any time soon,"

ava grinned widely. "soon?"

el nodded. "soon,"

"you're gonna get in, el. don't worry,"

el nodded. "i wish i do,"

after ava left to leave el alone, she set the plate of food aside that was only nibbled on a bit.

she peeled off her cardigan, looking down at the dark purple bruises all over her arm.

a small sigh escaped her as she stared at her skin, looking at how his actions were permanently printed on her.

her fists squeezed together at the sight, her nails sinking into her skin making her wince but somehow she liked the feeling and sunk her nails deeper.

when her energy began to give out, she unfolded her fist and saw her nail prints with some blood stains.

why did it feel good? it shouldn't have felt good.

but she liked the pain and she wanted more.

her eyes roamed the floor and suddenly it landed on her pencil case and she saw the cutter she had inside.

she began to reach for it, pulling it out as she pushed up the blade. will it hurt? or will it feel the same?

looking down at her left arm, she found a little patch of empty space and pressed the blade down slowly, dragging it down in a line.

blood began to seep out and she barely winced at the cut but she somehow found herself smiling at the sight of the red blood.

by the end of the night, she found herself with more new cuts but with ones she made herself.

♬

she walked into school the next day, a smile on her face at how her shattered heart was slowly being stitched back together with a thin piece of thread.