my hidden past

I have a secret

Authors note this was supposed to only be an episode one shot but I decided after doing the second part that maybe it should be a book so I hope you enjoy it but anyways this episode turned into a book is based off of season one episode five with Jay comes to hang out at Erin House for the first time but then he learns of something that Erin has been keeping A secret from everybody this episode is also the episode Hank tells them both to stay away from each other specially Jay because if he doesn't stay away from Erin he would kick him out of the unit

Erin's pov; my life has been pretty crazy since the moment I've been born going up with my mom with her choosing to use drugs and sleeping with other Landon dudes over being a mother to me. Which made me turn to the street  like her by doing drugs and messing around with all different men , The one day I met got me into so much trouble that once Hank and Camille voight  I had to cut him off from my life to protect myself, but soon after they took me and I realize that I may be harder than I thought to keep them out of my life especially since I found out I was pregnant by him, I decided to keep it and now five years later I have a little boy and I am a detective and the intelligent Unit

HV= now that the case is closed let's get this paperwork done pretty fast
AR= you got it boss 
E= i'm almost done
AD= wow  that's fast
J= oh yeah maybe you should help me out since you're almost done
E= nope not going to happen
AO= well boys I'm done see you guys tomorrow
J= all right see you  Alvin
AR= so after this paperwork is over with I'm going to Molly's Kevin said he's in who else is in
AD= i'm sorry but I have a date night with my wife sorry next time
AR= oh man all right so what about you Jay mollys
J= i'm not promising anything but maybe
AR= All right that's better than nothing so Erin would you have a drink with me at Molly's tonight 
E= ( get up ) no Adam I have plans already with my TV
AR= oh come on you always have a date with your TV
E= here's the paperwork ( to hank)
HV= wow that was fast
E= well I have a reason to get things done and get home
HV= yes you do also Adam did make a point that you always have a date with your TV when is the last time you had alone time
E= it's been a while maybe before this unit was form
HV= well that's a long time ago how about I have Alvin stop and pick them up from your babysitter  and bring him to my place so we could hang out and so that when you go home you can either hang out by yourself at home or decide to go and hang out with your friends at Mollys
E= fine that sounds very nice actually so thank you
HV= you are welcome I'll call Alvin
E= thanks bye guys see you tomorrow
AD= see you tomorrow

Once I leave work I start driving home but I first stop and grab myself a pizza and head home once I arrive home I sit back and watch a good show about an hour later after I eat I clean up and was deciding if I should go to mollys or not when all of a sudden a knot comes at the door

E= I wonder who that could be ( opens the door) Oh hey Jay what are you doing here
J= well I came to check on you
E= well that's nice of you but really Jay i'm fine
J= I know but I wanted to be a good partner and make sure for myself that you were good
E= all right then come in
J= ( he does)  wow your place looks nice
E= why thanks
J= you  know since we became partners for a few months now I've never been to your place at all
E= oh really I didn't know that
J= yeah well your place looks nice
E= why thank you so would you like a beer
J= yes I would
E= ( gets it ) here you go
J= why thanks
E= your welcome
J= so how crazy it was the case we had today
E= so crazy I never seen a girl swallow balloons of drugs before
J= I know besides why would they do that anyways
E= they only did such a crazy thing because of money they needed money for something
J= which is so stupid no matter how much money someone gives me would never do anything that stupid
E= totally agree
J= so can we talk about something else
E= sure what else would you like to talk about
J= um how Hank pretty much told me to stay the hell away from you or else I'll be out of the unit
E= oh my God I can't believe he said that to you
J= I was shocked when he said it that to me out of the blue like that did you say anything back to him about it
E= of course I did I told him that I don't need him to protect me like he did when I started to live with him years ago
J= good for you doesn't he know you are a big girl and you can take care of yourself
E= oh yeah he knows that but he still does it because he's hank
J= oh yeah what is so wrong if we date anyways it's not like we don't already have each other's back like constantly
E= yeah that's true like I'm so grateful for what Hank has done for me but he needs to back off sometimes
J= maybe one day he'll let up A little bit
E= yeah maybe one day ( phone rings) speaking of him
J= Wait he's calling you I wonder why
E= Who knows let me see
J= hopefully it's not about work
E= what's hope so ( gets up and walks away and answers the phone) hey Hank is everything OK
HV= what kinda I'm trying to put little man down for bed but he doesn't want to sleep unless he is with his mom
E= oh how sweet but it sucks he hasn't been away from me since he was born
HV= i've tried everything it hasn't worked so maybe I should bring him back home here in the next hour so he can get some sleep
E= Yes of course he said I already miss him so see you in about an hour
HV= all right see you soon ( hangs up)
E= oh my fucking God this sucks shit
J= is everything okay Erin
E= um yes actually no it isn't
J= OK what's wrong
E= well I have something to tell you
J= you do please don't tell me you're married
E= oh I am not but I guess I better tell you this before it's too late ( starts to panic)
J= OK first of all Erin Can you please sit down and take a breathe ( she does) OK so please tell me why are you freaking out
E= okay so I had to tell you a secret that nobody but Hank, Alvin and Trudy knows
J= Oh wait what is your secret that you have to tell me
E= okay first of all it's not like I wanted to hide this from anybody but I also wanted to keep my personal life separate from my work life from everyone
J= make sense Erin I understand completely
E= all right so before I came to this unit I was on the streets a lot just because of how I was raised
J= oh yeah bunny was a bad mother for sure
E= well about six years ago I met this one guy we got in some trouble together he was not too bad to me he got me hooked on a couple drugs, we hooked up a few times well we end up waking up about two months after dating, and then about a month after we broke up I soon found out that I was pregnant with this guy's baby
J= wow So what did you do when she found out you
E= at first I wasn't sure I wanted to keep the baby
J= make sense
E= but once I went in and heard the baby's heartbeat for the first time I could not give my baby up so I decided to raise the baby
J= I hear that all the time
E= well the only reason I'm bringing this up to you now is because Hank has my l Child at his house so that I could have the night off from him but I guess my baby didn't like falling asleep without me nearby so he is bringing him home so he should be here in about 45 minutes or less
J= okay so would you like me to leave before he gets here so he doesn't yell at you for having me here
E= no you were fine I think it's time I finally let someone meet my kid and let others into my lives
J= oh it's so before Hank gets here would you like to tell me all about your kid
E= of course I would love to talk about him
J= so you had a little boy
E= yes I did he is the best ever so I had my little boy on February 24, 2009 his name is Ryder  Dean Lindsay
J= that's a good name
E= ever since he was born me and him have been best of friends but that's just because it's just been me and him
J= so would you say he's a mama's boy
E= Oh yes he is which is the best thing
J= I bet it is and I should know because I was a mama's boy myself
E= wow that's cool
J= May I ask who's Ryders dad is and has he been part of his life
E= well once I found out I was pregnant I told the guy but he didn't care much about having a baby
J= that Hass to suck
E= yeah but luckily I had Hank and Alvin to help me raise him
J= well that's good
E= and Ryders dad's name is Charlie puglese
She's a very bad guy I'm glad he isn't in ryders life because what he does people can come after him and or us and that would be bad
J= well that is good so what else makes Ryder so special