the new day - samuel kiszka (greta van fleet)

13- jumper

"I'm coming, geez. Hold on!" She yelled through the house. I was relieved to know that she was going to even open the door. A few moments later, the door cracked open, her head peering out. Her hair was up in a messy bun and she wore sweats with an oversized Def Leppard shirt. Though nobody had seen her in weeks, she looked so tired. I could tell she hadn't been getting any sleep. She also looked like she hadn't been eating enough, but maybe I was just imagining it.

"Hey, Sam." She began hesitantly, "What are you doing here? I'm bu-"

"You aren't busy." I deadpanned, cutting her off, "I've missed you." I grumbled, pulling her into a tight hug. She felt like she belonged in my arms, like nothing else would ever be able to equate to how I feel when she's there. The hug didn't last long before she abruptly pulled away from me. She normally wouldn't have done that, but I understood given the circumstances.

"We need to talk, Ro." I whispered, trying to read her facial expression.

"About what?" She asked, breaking eye contact with me. For a moment I thought I could see a few tears welling up in her eyes. I wanted nothing more than to wipe them away, but I knew at that point in time I'd be overstepping.

"I know that you saw me with her..." I began, trying not to let my emotions get the best of me, "I don't care about her, we aren't even friends. She ki-"

"It's ok Sammy, really. We're friends. It's not any of my business." she said quickly with a shrug, breaking eye contact yet again. I knew it wasn't true and she didn't mean it, but the words still sent a pang through my chest.

"Just let me tell you about it anways, ok?" I asked after a moment, trying to gather my jumbled thoughts.

"Okay," she began, tucking a strand of hair behind her left ear, "Come in though. It's supposed to rain soon." She opened the door further and led me to the living room, sitting on the couch and gesturing for me to do the same. I cleared my throat before I spoke,

"Ava, thats her name." I began, "We met in the beginning of fresman year and dated for about six months when we were sophomores. It was never really serious, we mainly dated because our parents know each other. Thinks were ok at first, but near the end of the relationship I found out she was cheating on me with some guy on the baseball team. I broke up with her and I kinda felt like shit for a while, not because I missed her but because she felt the need to cheat instead of breaking up with me." I paused for a moment, wishing I could read her mind.

"That afternoon, I went into the house to grab a drink and she followed me in. I knew she was there because Dad had invited her family but I was ignoring it all together. She was trying to flirt or whatever, and failing miserably." I laughed at the thought. How embarrassing?

"When I was going through the living room to try and ignore her advances, she basically tackled me like a whole ass linebacker and then kissed me without my consent. I tried to talk to you, I should have tried harder, but I didn't realize you were there when it happened. I thought you didn't wanna be around me anymore. I'm truly sorry, Rowan." I couldn't tell if she believed me or not based solely on her facial expressions.

"Say something Rowan, please." I whispered. I wouldn't lie to her, especially not about something like that.

"I believe you," she began, looking up at me through her eyelashes, tears still present, "but... I don't know..." her voice trailed off, "Maybe I'm not the right person for you in the first place. I can't compete with that." she shrugged her shoulders.

I could tell she felt insecure and like she wasn't enough. I wished I could take it away, even if it was just for a moment. There was no competition. It was only her. The moment I met her a couple months ago I knew it was only her. A few tears poured over, making her mascara run down her pink cheeks. I quickly reached my hand over, wiping away all of the black smudge.

"You're more than enough. I don't know who ever told you that you were anything less, and i'm sorry if I was the one who made you feel that way." I whispered, my genuine tone unwavering. She didn't say anything, but she didn't need to. I knew it was hard to feel like you're not attractive enough, smart enough, kind enough, or good enough in general. You always doubt yourself, and it's hard to get out of the cycle. She was over three weeks into it, and the deeper you get stuck into it, the harder it is to climb your way back out.

She rested her head on my shoulder, wiping a couple of black stained tears away. I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her into my chest, almost immediately feeling her ease up and take a deep breath. We stayed like that for a while, simply enjoying each others presence. Her stomach let out a loud grumbling sound, making me realize that she may not have eaten in a while.

"Ro, how long has it been since you've eaten?" I questioned, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear.

"I don't know, really. I don't remember." she groaned, lifting her head off of my shoulder, probably because she already knew what I was going to do.

"Let's go, i'll make you something." I said with a smile, standing up and grabbing her hands in mine. She smiled at me faintly. She still looked rough. Her eyes had bags under them and she looked fragile, more so than normal. I wanted to ask more about her depressive state but I didn't want to push her.

Like I said, we have all the time in the world.