White Eskimo ~ Harry Styles

Then

September 5th, 2005 

"Haz?" Lauren ponders as she leans back on my bed, staring at the plain ceiling. "What do you think the Comprehensive School will be like?"

I straighten my collar as I stare into the mirror. Scanning over my appearance I realise that my hair is a bit askew but I prefer it that way. My new uniform is irritatingly scratchy and I shift uncomfortably in it. In the reflection I see Lauren sit up and stare at me.

"What if everyone hates us?" 

I chuckle. "There's over a thousand students. I'm sure not all of them could hate us. There has to be at least one person who wants to be our friend."

"Easy for you to say," Lauren mumbles.

"Why?"

"You don't mind being around people. You love the attention," she whispers. I turn to face her and thump onto my bed.

"It'll be fine. Mum says the school is great - 'quality education in a caring environment,'" I state with an air of confidence.

"Yeah right. You just read the booklet." I blush and smile sheepishly. "I knew it! I bet you're nervous too but think 'I'm a boy and I'm so strong and awesome and brave. I'm not scared.'"

I burst into a fit of laughter at Lauren's impersonation. She pouts at me as she crosses her arms. My snickers grow louder until I hear a slap and feel her hand briskly whacking my head.

"Ow..." I whine, rubbing my throbbing scalp. Lauren grins smugly before jumping off my bed and making her way over to my mirror. She smiles awkwardly, as if testing whether she looks friendly enough. She does, even with the strained grin her lips are pulled into. But I don't tell Lauren that.

"I can't even smile right, Haz! No one's going to like someone with a retarded face."

"You think you've got a retarded face? What does that make me?"

"Utterly ugly," Lauren teases. "In every single way."

"MEAN!" I huff as mum calls us to come down. I haven't realised how fast time has past. If Lauren and I don't leave now we will be late. "C'mon Lauren, you'll be fine."

"Sure, I'll be fine... I guess," she balks, mumbling into her palm.

I hug her quickly. "You will be. You've got me!"

But she still doesn't look convinced. Her eyebrows furrow and for a second the Lauren I know disappears. In her place a smaller, quieter version of my friend appears and she embraces herself tightly as if doing so will ease the pain. The Lauren I now see has eyes dripping with tribulation and lips in a twist. In my mind's eye she is restless and despondant and doleful. 

People say that sometimes the decisions we make when we are not thinking straight are the best; but I'm not sure. In the spur of the moment I lean forward and kiss her. Spinning back I blink once and then twice - so nervous that she will hate me. What if I have ruined our friendship? I didn't mean it. All I wanted to do was comfort her. I peel open my squinted eyes and peek at her. Lauren stands frozen in place, mouth open and trembling as if a bomb just exploded in front of her innocent eyes. 

The tension snaps as mum calls again, and we run down the stairs - actually, I'm running and Lauren is trudging, a small frown upon her face. I wonder whether she's upset about what I did or whether it's because of the new school. I hope the latter is the reason; that maybe she is just really, really shy.

Once we reach the kitchen, mum smiles and gives us each a sweet embrace. Her eyes are watery as she looks down on us, biting her lip to prevent the sob. But she's beaming - contradicting what her tears are saying. I squeeze mum's hand, pressing my thumb against her palm. Lauren's mum is here too. She came over last night so that she could talk with mum. I'm not sure what they talked about because all Lauren and I could hear from upstairs was muffled whispers.