White Eskimo ~ Harry Styles

Now

July 28th, 2010

I stop singing my solo and step back from the microphone, glancing over at Simon. 

"That's good boys. You can go have a break now," Simon announces, clasping his hands together. "Today's the last day of shooting before the weekend so enjoy it. Next week we'll work on this plus something new."

Louis, Liam, Niall, Zayn and I walk out of the practice studio and into the kitchen where the rest of the contestants have decided to meet. It's Cher's birthday today which is lucky for her since she'll be able to see her parents tonight. We all decided to order a cake though and throw a mini celebration. Cher's still with her mentor and won't be finished for another hour so we have some time to birthday-ify the large room. I go with Louis and Rebecca to hunt for the balloons, if there are any in the X Factor house. We search in all the cupboards, laughing as we do so and talking about why we decided to come on X Factor. 

"Harry, what about you?" Rebecca questions, leaning on a bench as she searches through some more cabinets. 

"Uh... well, I've always loved performing. I found that out with my old band. So, I think that just lead me to want to try out even more." That was a good enough reason, I decide. It was true; I did love to perform ever since winning the battle of the bands. But it wasn't the whole truth, and I don't think I will ever reveal the whole truth to anyone. Even Will doesn't understand completely. Only mum and dad and Gemma really know the truth. 

"That's nice," Rebecca says as Louis comes bounding over to us.

"I guess you found the balloons," I chuckle. Louis has his hands full of loose balloons - about fifty - and some have even landed on his head.

"Yes..." Lou picks a bit of plastic out of his hair. "The bag, er, kind of exploded."

Rebecca and I look at him, confused. "Exploded? Since when do bags explode?"

"Since now."

I shrug and help gather the balloons into a single pile rather than the devastating mess Louis wears like a shirt. Together we stroll back into the lounge and plonk the balloons on the coffee table. I sink into the sofa, sleepy, and nestle my head under the crook of my arm. Really, I shouldn't be tired but I have been lately. I don't know whether it's suddenly all the regret that is suddenly rushing back or whether this new experience is wearing me down. 

Someone crashes down on top of me, squashing my face against the leather of the sofa. I peek up at them and see a wad of blonde hair and a cheeky grin. 

"What now?" I groan. I'm not annoyed, in fact I'm a bit amused. 

"Well, seeing as Cher is just down the hallway and about to enter the room and we're not even ready yet and you're just lying there, half asleep, I think that absolutely nothing is wrong and everything is perfect." Niall smirks.

I quirk an eyebrow. "Someone had an overdose of sarcasm today."

Niall snickers and hops off me. Like, literally hops off me. Like a rabbit. He hauls me up and I let out a tiny whimper. Goodbye soft seat. The cake is on the counter of the kitchen, some candles already stuck in the icing, awaiting to be lit. Streamers line the walls and someone even created a banner which hangs just above the doorway. Strangely, the windows are all shut and the curtains pulled down, not letting any light escape. Oh. A surprise party. The balloons which Louis and Rebecca must have blown up are bouncing around on the floor, drifting aimlessly like tumbleweed. 

Another pang ripples through me. A small one - a tiny wave of memories, but not too much to drown me. Lau- I choke on her name. Lauren and I once had a joint party. We were ten. The balloons had been scattered on the floor just like now. Lauren and I had jumped on the balloons and tried to see who could pop the most.