ANTI-HERO, j.grace

FOUR

       Kieran Maddox had never been fond of the Campfire Sing-along's. Not because he couldn't sing - Kieran Maddox knew damn well he had a voice as soft as butter - but because he always sought a tougher reputation.

No one thinks of warriors when they think of Apollo kids, he would say.

Kieran yearned to be a warrior, to have the powerful recognition of a soldier. He wished to wield weapons instead of lyres, to shout orders instead of sing.

Klein yearned for the simpler things, for dancing around the campfire and singing silly songs because it was fun. Kieran would only dent his ego to sing with her, and when the duo would finally sing together alongside the warm embers, Camp Half-Blood would see the golden twins sparkle.

When the Apollo cabin finally resumed their campfire songs a few respectful weeks after the end of the war, Klein Maddox resided on the sidelines rather than the center.

What was there to sing about? Her mind would hiss as the cheers for music began to filter through the air, How could anyone stomach those silly little kid songs after so many kids had just died?

Kieran would only ever sing with her, hating the silly looks and songs but stomaching it for the sake of the happy gleam in his sisters eyes whenever he begrudgingly pushed himself off the ground. To sing without him... wrong. It would be wrong.

"It's your turn to lead the sing-along, Klein." Will had his hands on his hips as he gave the girl a pointed look, catching her on her way to the Apollo row.

He tried. Will always tried to pull Klein back into who she had been before - happy, bright, made of gold. She saw his effort, she'd acknowledged it, hell sometimes she even appreciated it because no one else was willing to try at all. But in the end he was the same as the rest of the camp, wishing Klein Maddox was the same girl she has been before August Eighteenth when in reality that version of herself was so far gone it was almost as if she never even existed.

She nearly winced but covered it with a careless shrug, "I'll do it next week."

"That's what you said last week." Will reminded, only earning an eye roll from the Maddox girl.

Kayla turned to them as well, the green streaks in her hair even more vibrant in the light from the fire, "And the week before."

And it was in their eyes, the disappointment, the questioning. Why won't you just be okay again? How could you be so far gone?

Klein was used to the look, hidden as it may be in her half-siblings eyes. She wanted to yell, claw the gleam out of their eyes with her nails that were coated in a chipping blue nail polish. But she didn't - she never could when it came to Will, and as much as Kayla pushed her buttons as if she were playing a game of whack-a-mole, they were the only siblings she had left, so the response she settled on was "Mind your business, you little fucks."

They were right, of course. She had been saying 'next week' for many weeks. But there was something so nauseating about standing up in front of that fire and singing a childish war song that half the time Klein couldn't even force herself to listen.

Maybe everyone was right - maybe she should move on, maybe she was dwelling on the dead, maybe it was unhealthy and it was her fault for pushing everyone else away.

But it had been four months, and Klein Maddox had lived fifteen years with Kieran Maddox.

How was she supposed to just carry on like this new world she lived in was completely fine?

Jason saw her maneuvering throughout the steps of the amphitheater, still clad in the bright orange sweatshirt that almost seemed obnoxious in comparison to the scowl that decorated her face. He noticed, however, that her glare seemed to lighten just the slightest bit whenever her attention fell to the half-dozen lyre-playing demigods that circled the fire, an almost sad look seeming to overtake her face before she hardened once more.