The Coldest Summer

Approaching Closure

The tiniest bit of caffeine that was in my green drink gave me enough energy to get a few things done. As I finish writing the cruise line about the circumstances of needing to cancel our tickets, something catches my eye.

In the top left corner of the browser, there's another profile for just you. I don't know when you made it but now I'm feeling curious.

I hit send on the email and close out our joint profile to head into yours.

Your chrome page background is a photo we took in Ohio at Six Flags with your parents for their anniversary.

My heart starts to thump loudly in my ears as I anticipate what I'll find in your history. You were so loyal Zeph! How could you have a secret account? Why am I just now noticing it?

Your history is wiped clean and that does nothing for my anxiety. I find my way to your email I've never dared to enter before. You left it logged in.

As I click on 'Inbox', the doorbell rings. I jump so hard my knee hits the bottom of the desk.

I haven't ordered anything, food, or packages, so I ignore it for the time being. I hear a  light thump on the ground and footsteps walking away. On the computer, your inbox is full of order confirmations.

Sauvage + Sexy

King Jeweler

Mall-Mart

Books-a-Billion

Amazoid

I feel foolish, but curious still. The mouse wanders to the upper right corner and the apps pop up. As if it has a mind of its own, my hand travels down to 'Docs' and clicks it.

There my eyes witness a full itinerary and list you put together of our cruise, separate from the one we made together. Next to Day 1 is a parenthesis with the letters 'S+S' next to it. With the dinner plans we made, there is an asterisk for dessert with the letters "KJ" next to it.

The rest of the document was pretty similar, an identical schedule to the one we made together with minor changes and side notes.

My face burns and I slam the laptop closed.

I feel stupid for having the thoughts I had when I saw another profile, even just for a minute.

I invaded your privacy and ruined your surprise! I'm so sorry honey, forgive me, please.

My shame lifts me from the Think Box and maneuvers me to the front door. I peek through the blinds and see a couple of packages with your name on them.

Immediately, my mind flashes to the order confirmations in your inbox. Three of them were from yesterday and they were notices of delivery. The laptop chimes signaling a new email.

I yank the door open and hoard all of the boxes and one bubble envelope inside. They cover my lap as I wail and laugh at the same time.

I may have ruined your surprise but they literally fell into my lap.

I tear open the first box from Books-a-Billion and see you ordered the series I've been wanting for ages. The Moon Chronicles! No way bebe.

Next is Amazoid's bubble wrap package. Within it is sunscreen for your sensitive skin but also a headband so I can listen to music when I sleep comfortably now.

There's no way I have any tears left.

Sauvage + Sexy holds five items in my size. First is a nude-colored teddy, next is a gorgeous baby blue and white bra and panty set. That is finally followed by a very comfortable material gown and robe.

In my excitement, I strip and put on the gown and robe. It feels so good, like a second skin! 

Mall-Mart's box is too big for what it holds. A small box sits on one side and brown paper fills the rest of the box. The small box holds 2 bracelets, one for you and me each. They're the ones that you can press and let the other person know you're thinking of them. 

I laugh out loud and smile to myself. You've been around me too long my love, this is more like something I would get. But I'm not mad at it.

I save the King's Jeweler box for last because I don't trust it not to ruin my entire mood by breaking my heart.

Inside is a gift message you wrote as a practice letter, I'm guessing, to write in a card for when you give me what's in the box.

Am I strong enough to read it, my love?

I'll save it for after I open the velvet box.

The most stunning pear-shaped blue sapphire is met by a gorgeous black sapphire in the center of a unique fashioned band.

The air catches in my lungs and now I can't wait another millisecond to read your drafted note.

"Seven billion smiles in the world and yours is my favorite to wake up to every morning to this day. You are the most precious human being in this universe. Scratch that. In every universe. You inspire me all the time to be the best me, to be positive, to be kind and loving. You are my happiness. I love you eternally sweet girl. May the days we spend together be long and the nights be endless and may we be eternal. May you continue to sapphire to my heart.

- Yours,

Zephyr Tonne of Love"

There is a waterfall flowing from my eyes and I look back at the ring on my finger. I notice the pear-shaped rocks meet to form a heart and mine explodes in my chest.

For all eternity, you have my heart Zeph.