The Coldest Summer

An Angsty Afternoon

With half an ounce of strength, I inch across the room to the bathroom and crawl onto the toilet.

How there is enough fluid in this shell to make urine? I have no idea. But as I sit on the toilet and stare at the sink, your razor catches my eye.

I pull my legs up to my chest and bury my face. That was the razor you let me shave you with for the first time.

"Let's do face masks babe," I tugged on your arm and led you to the mirror that morning.

"Mamas, I have to shave," you begged.

"Well, we can do an exfoliating scrub instead. It preps your face for a better shave," I pleaded. Bending down to grab the scrubs I felt you grab my waist.

"Fine my love, as long as this doesn't turn into you fully grooming me. I want to take you out today." You pulled my hips into yours as I stood up and started dancing to music only you could hear in your head.

That always made me laugh.

I spun around and kissed you passionately with my arms wrapped around your neck.

"You will not distract me," I said biting your lip. "Let's get started and I'll let you surprise me. No questions."

You released me and raised your eyebrows, silently questioning me. I nodded my head affirmatively and you scoffed. I playfully punched your arm and you chuckled while grabbing the stool on the other side of the bathroom door.

"Would you ever let me shave you?" I asked as you put shaving gel on your face in the mirror.

"Why? I mean, I don't see why not." You replied curiously.

"I don't know, I've just never done it. But watching you shave is always... what do you say? Like satisfying to me."

"There are other ways I can satisfy you, mama." You winked as you opened the drawer for the fresh pack of razors.

I grabbed your hand and inched closer to your face until I licked your nose. You shivered just to mock me and kissed my forehead.

"Come on baby, I said I wanted to take you out," you said more seriously.

I sighed and released your hand, defeated and dying inside from curiosity. Halfway out of the door, you grabbed my hand and placed the razor in it. As I turned around and looked at your beautiful face, a grin played on my lips.

"You always win. Get over here," you were now the defeated one. You walked me through what to do and you were patient with me, even after I nicked you a few times.

"Thank you baby!" I flung my arms around your neck and kissed your face all over.

"Mhm," you jabbed, "now go get dressed."

We got dressed and left the house within the hour, you smelling as tasty as you looked.

I only got to watch you shave once more after that. That was the day you left me.

I roll onto the floor and inch to the closet beside the sink. Your dirty clothes bag is in here, half way full, and it smells like you.

I grab onto it and hug it close, embracing your smells that linger.

I miss you, my love.