The Boiling of the Bones

28. Visiting Alix

"What am I supposed to do? The truth is out there now. I can't put the toothpaste back in the tube. It's over for me."

"That's not the truth. It's the sick distorted version of the story they want to believe because people love a good scandal. They love a fiery plane crash with lots of death and destruction. But it's not you. It's not the truth. You need to go to New York and go on TV and tell your story. You need to get in front of it and tell them exactly what actually happened. You've got nothing to hide. You're human, there's nothing to be ashamed of. You've got me on your side. I'll back you up. You're not a villain. Maybe you're not the hero they originally wanted to believe in, but you'll always be a hero to me. I don't care why you were there. That's irrelevant. You saved me. That's all that matters. I literally wouldn't be here right now if it weren't for you. I'm eternally grateful. You saved me. You need to go to New York, tell the world the truth. You need to pick up your guitar and play again."

"No. No."

I shook my head firmly.

"I can't do that."

"Oliver, I know it's painful. But you have to pick up the pieces and go on with your life. You're such a great guy. You have to stop punishing yourself. What happened wasn't your fault. It was a horrible thing. But you didn't do anything wrong. You're a really, really good guy. You deserve to be happy."

"I wish that were true."

"It is true. Come here."

I approached the bed. She leaned forward and hugged me. It was clearly painful for her to move. Even speaking was labored with her collapsed lung and broken ribs.

"OK, fine I'll go to New York."

"Will you bring your guitar?"

"Yes, for you, I'll play the guitar again."

"I'll be right here watching the entire thing, rooting for you."

"Thanks."

A nurse came in and said Alix needed to get some rest. She changed out the IV bag.

Alix looked at me with sad mournful, compassionate eyes.

"I can feel my pain meds starting to kick in. They're making me really sleepy. I wish I could hug you, but will you just lay by me until I fall asleep?"

"Sure."

I climbed onto her bed, and she rolled over and nestled up against me. A couple minutes later she was fast asleep. I climbed down off the bed and gently tucked the covers up to her chin and then slipped out of the room.

Against my better judgement, I called back, Good Morning America, and asked if they still wanted an interview. They most definitely did.

"Tell me when and I'll be there."

"Can you make a flight tonight and we'll do the interview live tomorrow morning?"

"Yeah, I can do that."

"Great, we'll pay for your ticket and put you up in a hotel."

I was incredibly nervous. I called Mike at Probability Records and asked if I could borrow the blue Fender Stratocaster and gear, I'd used at the first Gravity Source show in Georgia.

"Hell yeah, man. I've been watching you on TV and I'm really sorry about all the shit they're putting you through."

"Is there any way you could bring it to the GMA studios. I'm going there tomorrow morning."

"You're playing a set on Good Morning America?"

"I'm going to play one song."

"I'll bring the gear personally. I want to see this."