NOAH

Chapter 11

"I said no." My voice was shaky. "When they called, I told them 'no' because there was no room for you in their firm, and me moving away meant I'd have to leave you behind. I told them 'no', but when they called you, you took that job without a second thought. Without even..."

It was getting hard to breathe, and my eyes began to sting.

"Dex..." Julian took a step towards me, alarm on his face, arms open and ready to embrace me. I pulled as far away from him as I could without bumping against the wall.

"You didn't think of me, Julian," I whispered, holding back tears of pain and anger. "You didn't think of us. You just did what was best for you."

The annoyance was back on his face, somewhat softened by an emotion I couldn't quite decipher.

Love?

Compassion?

I wasn't sure. But I knew what it wasn't: regret.

"I did what was best for my career. Sutson Accounting offered me so much more than what I'd get here, in Plymson."

"But I am here!" I bellowed, no longer able to restrain myself. "I'm here! And our home was here! The place we bought, and in which... Which..."

I hastily wiped my eyes and turned away from him.

The place in which we were supposed to grow old together.

"Dex... Please..."

His voice was so soft, and that one word - please - the begging inflection in it, made my knees go weak. I closed my eyes and my head lolled back.

It was moments like these that gave me hope.

And I hated them for it.

I hated him.

But only because I still loved him.

"Can I hug you?" His quiet, soothing voice came from right behind me. "Let me hold you, Dex. I hate it when we fight. I hate seeing you like this."

When I didn't respond, he took it as a silent agreement.

Toned arms wrapped around me from behind and Julian's natural fragrance mixed with his favorite cologne - bergamot scented - enveloped me. It was so good, I wanted to weep. The familiarity of it all, the support, the love... Yet, things could never go back to the way they'd been before. Even if he apologized for putting his career before us.

Not that that would ever happen.

He didn't regret what he did.

I should pull away from him and send him on his way. Tell him to lose my number and forget where I lived.

But I couldn't bring myself to do it.

It would be the best thing for me, but I didn't have the strength to end it for good.

In that moment, all I wanted to do was to stay in his arms and pretend the last couple of years didn't happen.

Another knock on my front door startled me out of my stupor. This one was quick, slightly impatient, and adrenalin pumped through my veins as I recognized it: Ash was in the hallway.

Ash in the hallway, Julian in my apartment; Ash in the hallway...

Fuck.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts and pushed Julian away.

I had to think fast.

Ash knocked again, and I ran a hand over my head, my gaze darting between my ex and my front door.