Can I Be Your Mrs?

30: 'Can I Be Your Mrs?'

They walked into the living room together, she brought refreshments for him before she sat down on a sofa away from him, if not for Farha, she wouldn't have been here. "How are you? It has been long since I last saw you." She tried to initiate a conversation, because it was only fair if she did that for him. He came all the way here for her, and it was obvious he loved her even though he hadn't voice a word about it.

"I've missed you so much, Sanaya. It was so hard and you don't have an idea how happy I was when you agreed to see me, thank you." One, she hated it with passion when he called her Sanaya. Second, could he stop all the sentimental talks already? And the way he spoke, dreamily staring at her with a voice so low she had to strain her neck to hear him. The only thing stopping her from chasing him out was only because she knew how loving someone felt like, it was no good at all. It hurt so much that it would only be fair for herself if she made it easy on him.

She could only smile before motioned at the refreshments for him and he nodded his head, "I can take whatever you cook even if it will poison my life, Sanaya. You have no idea." This man, he was testing her patience. What kind of talks were these? Can't they have a decent conversation without him telling her how much he loved her? By Allah she hated this, she hated it with passion. She hated the way he spoke, his voice, those eyes dreamily looking at her that she internally cringed.

They began chatting laconically and suddenly she looked at the watch attached to her left wrist, it would soon be time for Yazeed to come back. She didn't want the two men to meet. Because if Yazeed saw him, it would irk him. Not that it would change anything, but she didn't want to hurt him. And for Jibril, she didn't care if he would stop calling her from today, what mattered was how he would think of her if he realized she was living together with Yazeed. She squirmed softly on her chair and when he looked at her, he smiled.

"What is it, Sanaya?" He asked and she shook her head softly at him.

Maybe he had sensed what she meant from the way she kept staring at her watch and he stood up, Jalilah wished the relieved breath she had exhaled went unnoticed from him. "I hate to leave, Sanaya, but I have to get my mother from her sister's house."

"Let me walk you out then." She urged and he nodded. They walked side by side, she was suddenly more irritated by him. She was sure he was talking while staring at her, but by Allah she didn't know what he was saying. Everything went unheard by her until they stood by his car and he cleared his voice while scratching his nape.

"I have something I need to tell you, Sanaya." She tried to smile, it was only kind if she did that and Farha wanted her to.

"Okay, I'm all ear, what's the good news?" She even gave him with a souvenir of a soft chuckle.

"I know you might have noticed it for long, but I haven't said a word about it. Maybe I was afraid then, but I think we've been together for quite a long time now and it would only be fair for myself if I let you know. I love you, Sanaya. I know you might have grasped that through my words and actions, but I just want to say it out. It has been weighing my heart down for a very long time now. Please accept my love, please take care of my heart, Sanaya. Wallah I'd be nothing without you, and I'm not sure what your answer would be, but I believe I'd be in so much grief forever if you reject me..." She was just staring at him as he spoke, not knowing when tears accumulated in her eyes nor when they began to cascade down her cheeks.

She had realized that it was easy for him, she envied him. It was easy for him to tell her that he loved her, and even though he claimed he would be in so much grief if she rejected him, she doubted if he knew what grief meant. He looked like a spoilt mommy's boys and he had gotten what he ever wanted in his. Maybe he thought he had hidden it for long, but it was easy for him, she picked his calls, she replied to his messages, she even let him see her face. What of her? She couldn't have all that. She couldn't see him for nearly a month or was it two months already? He didn't even speak when he was home unless he was in his room to prevent her from hearing his voice. She didn't call him nor sent him a message, but she was sure even if she did, nothing would change, all her efforts would prove futile.