The Lies That Bind

15: Pawn to D4

"Cooper," she said, exasperated despite the seriousness of the situation. "Why would that be Viagra?"

"I honestly have no idea, because as you well know, I definitely don't need it," he said, the words so smug she had to laugh.

He'll hate you for this, a small voice whispered in the back of her head.

She ignored it.

"Those," Calla said, her laughter subsiding, "are prescription pills. Xanax." She paused, waiting for her meaning to sink in. "For the professor."

"Oh." Cooper's look shifted to one of such trepidation, she almost laughed again. "Killjoy."

"Literally."

"That," he held up a finger, "is not funny." And it wasn't. His smile fell the longer he stared at the pills, two little white dots lying innocently on his kitchen counter. "You want me to..." He made a vague gesture, indicating the pills. "Don't you?"

Calla swallowed her amusement and tugged on the back of his shirt. "Cooper." When he wouldn't budge, she sighed and stepped in front of him, blocking his view of the counter and the poison there. "Cooper. Forget the pills for now. Just...give yourself the week to mull it over. Ask yourself if this is something you're even capable of." She closed her eyes with a tired sigh. "If I have to, I can spike the professor's pill bottle during my next visit—"

"Somehow, that isn't as comforting as you think it is," he said, voice pitched unusually high.

She opened her eyes, cupping his chin in her hand. "I have to do this."

"I know."

"If I don't—"

"I know." He sighed, gazing at her with an inscrutable look in his eyes. "This is all part of your master plan, huh? Seduce me and get me to do your dirty work for you."

She smiled at that. "I don't have to get you in bed to get my way." Still smiling, she kissed his jaw. "That part was just for fun."

"Mmm-hmm." He softened somewhat at her touch, the worry in his eyes abating millimeter by millimeter—until they suddenly widened in alarm. "Uh. Calla?"

She arched a curious brow, perplexed by his reaction. "Yeah?"

"Are you...um..." He scratched the back of his head. "Are you on birth control, by chance?"

She stared at him, aghast—and then she started to laugh. "That's what you're worried about right now?"

He frowned, indignant. "Well, yeah. Kids are expensive and sticky—"

Still half-laughing, she pressed her lips to his. Against his mouth, she said, "I'm on the pill, Cooper." He sighed again, clearly relieved, and curled his hands around her waist, kissing her in earnest now, and it was a kiss that very nearly convinced her to blow off her afternoon shift at the morgue. But her boss would be waiting, and she couldn't very well stay here forever—

Why not? That small, annoying little voice was back, nagging at her. Stay. Stay with him. Maybe this can still have a happy ending.

She knew that was a lie, and it was the sweetest, cruelest of lies—even if in the secret, shriveled corner of her black heart, she yearned for it to be true. That somehow, in this life, with this boy, she could have that happy ending. Even if she did not deserve it. 

I repel happy endings, she'd told him, and the faint spark of hope flickering in her chest guttered. She'd been right before.

Her story would not have a happy ending.