The Angel I Couldn't Kill

Chapter 19

“You’re all I have left, Zashi. I’d do anything if it means that I’m here to protect you.”

“Well, you can start by taking the damn anxiety pills. You can’t protect me if you’re dead from another… whatever that was.”

“I hope it works. I don’t want another one for as long as I live.” He muttered, covering his arms with the hospital blanket he was given. “I’m just about out of skin.”

He looked up to Hizashi, who was glancing at him with pity in his eyes. “So, what was the whole lie you told everyone? For consistency.”

Hizashi told him, giving specific details. Most of it was about the same to what really happened, with a few obvious things changed. The whole being Eraser was changed to Shouta somehow replicating Eraserhead’s knife to frame an attack because he was humiliated that he had something mentally wrong, and that the scars were from self harm.

Once Recovery Girl returned, Shouta was able to check out and go home with Hizashi, who informed him that he’d been caring for his cat during his absence. Both of them sat on Hizashi’s bed in silence for a while, before Hizashi spoke up.

“Alright, so tell me. Everything. Start with ya quirk or something.”

“My quirk is Erasure. Basically, I can stop someone’s quirk from being used by looking at them till I blink. It also makes things levitate around my head for some reason, like my hair and my scarf. When I fight people, I cancel out their quirk from above, then when their backs turn I use the scarf to bind them up. If I feel like it, anyway. Sometimes I just jump down from a perch like you saw that one time and… well… you know. My knife is shaped like it is because it tears through everything.”

Hizashi listened intently, looking uncomfortable and disappointed throughout his explanation. “So why’d you do it in the first place?”

“I was trying to teach people to not rely on their quirks their whole lives. There’ll be times when they aren’t needed, or can’t be used. That’s why I targeted heroes who clearly wouldn’t make it on their own. Then I guess I just… lost it. I don’t know when. I just went for everyone, even people I would’ve let live in the past.”

“Was that because of your… mental… thing?”

“I have god awful thoughts, yes. All the time. Which is why I… freaked out so much. They got stronger and stronger with every victim. Once I killed that kid was when they finally got too overwhelming. All the things they said, the echoes of voices, flashbacks of their corpses-”

Shouta stopped, trying to regulate his breathing. Even mentioning the thoughts out loud made them creep into his mind, whispering malevolently.

“They won’t go away, Zashi. They keep pushing all the time, constantly. They’re driving me crazy. I- I-”

Hizashi said nothing, wrapping his arms around Shouta and hugging him. He could feel him crying. Shouta wanted to cry, too.

“I just want it to stop… I just want to sleep.” He murmured, leaning into Hizashi’s hug. He nodded, playing with Shouta’s hair.

“Me too. Thanks for… y'know… telling me. I had no idea you had to deal with that. I’m not gonna push ya to tell me what they say unless you want to. Sorry I was so forceful with this, I just-” He sighed, audibly holding back tears. “I don’t know. I’m still mad at you. I have to be. But I don’t want to hate you.”

“You don’t need to apologise to me for anything.” Shouta said, getting under the covers of the bed and lifting them so Hizashi could join if he wanted to.

He did, wrapping Shouta in another hug before both of them fell asleep, arms wrapped around each other again.

For the first time in months, Shouta had a peaceful night. One where he was sober enough to remember the whole thing.