Unravel | Jeverus

Part 21

But James didn't care what severus used as entertainment, as long as he was here with him.

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Regulus approached him a few times a week. Usually to help, sometimes to just stand there and attempt to make small talk.

James tried his best to not be an asshole but he found his conversations condescending. He seems to think making fun of James is a good way to flirt. It wasn't. Not anymore.

" Don't you have a hufflepuff to go bully." James asked as he pushed his books back into place, rather rough.

Regulus flinched when the massive history book slammed against the wood at the back of the shelf.

" What?" Regulus asked and James sighed.

" I dont have interest in hearing what you say about my quidditch skills, or my house colors or my last name." James explained and Regulus' face changed.

" Sorry. Didn't mean to offend you."

" Yeah. Right." James put the last book in and turned around but Regulus grabbed onto his wrist.

It was so unexpected James immediately yanked it out of his grasp, so harsh he pulled Regulus forward until he fell.

He ended up so close to him he was shoved against a small corner of the shelf. Regulus was red, James bewildered.

Regulus' cologne flooded his senses, and not in a good way. He felt caged, claustrophobic. He dropped his remaining books, loud crashing as James looked down.

His hands trembled. Did he wear the same cologne as Lupin?

" James? Are you okay?" Severus asked and rounded the corner, seeing the situation he was in and raising his eyebrows.

" Oh. Sorry-"

" No! " James reached out past Regulus and Severus stopped.

He watched as James closed his eyes and slowly maneuvered his way out of Regulus' presence. That shout changed everything. Regulus, who just got hope not even a week ago felt it be crushed in an instant. James wished something would change in Severus, something that would save them.

Instead he left his books, left Regulus and stood behind Severus. As soon as he started walking, their stride was the same, step by step until they were at the library entrance.

" Wait here, I'll go pick up your books for you."

" I can go pick them up another time-"

" It's fine. Just wait for me ok?" Severus squeezed his shoulder and James nodded.

He walked away, back to that croner where he knew Regulus would be waiting. He was patient, always so patient. Even when he shouldn't be.

" Ahem." He cleared his throat and Regulus jumped.

Severus moved to the three books laying at Regulus' feet and picked them up, eyes focused on the task in front of him and at nothing else.

" Why did you do that."

Severus froze, for just half a second and then piled the rest into his arms.

" What do you mean?"

" Why did you offer to set us up? He obviously likes you."

Severus sighed and looked up at him with a blank look.

" Because he and i aren't together."

" But you could be."

" But we won't."

" Why?" Regulus insisted on an answer and all Severus could give him was a shrug.

" He and I aren't meant for that."

" I've liked him for so long. I've admired him from afar, i'd dare say i look up to him."

Severus swallowed.

" And?"

" And I'll never be close to him. I can't compete with you." Regulus sighed and a thought ran through Severus' head.

It's not a competition. There is none. There's only them.

" I can't seem to compete with your brother. He can't seem to compete with Lily-"

" It's not the same." Regulus cut him off and Severus' shoulders fell.

" Lovers and best friends are on different levels."

Severus inhaled and forced a smile.

" I'm his friend. Just his friend."

" But he'd run to you in a heartbeat. He'd choose you over anyone and you would do the same, right?"

Severus shifted uncomfortably but it did nothing to deter Regulus. They stood there, tense and awkward but Regulus demanded an answer.

" Yes."

Regulus smiled bitterly and nodded.

" I never had a chance. I should've known as soon as he went looking for you not even 30 seconds after speaking with me."

Regulus had that aristocratic accent, posh and sharp. The words had an edge that left small scratches on Severus' skin. His skin prickled and he bristled with every passive word that comes out of Regulus' mouth.

" I'm sorry."

" Don't be. I was the fool who believed he could care for me." Regulus said and turned around, disappearing into books.

He was always so dramatic. But maybe it was over exaggeration, it was just how he felt. If Severus had liked someone for that long and couldn't even make them look in his direction with a bit of joy, he'd be mad too.

But he stood there in the library with a pile of books, feeling like a complete asshole.

I'm still not ready he thought to himself. And he wasn't.

The scars on his arms hadn't healed yet, and he wouldn't make James bare the weight of them as well as his own.