Blame It All on Me. Part 1

Chapter 8. I'll Probably Regret It Later

The girl watched him leave somewhat disappointedly.

☙ ❦ ❧

The rest of the day passed in a slight stiffness. Arina sensed that Kakashi seemed to be out of place. Although he denied it in every possible way, it was obvious that her age suddenly began to worry him greatly. She couldn't help but snort to herself: would it really mean the end of everything for him if she really were underage?.. How old was he himself then? And was he really that decent? Or was there something else? However, she did not dare insist, nor, especially, cling to him herself. You never know what you're going to run into, as they say.

When they were getting ready to sleep, Arina lay down, pointedly turning her back to Kakashi. He glanced guiltily in her direction, but said nothing, and also lay down with his back to her.

Arina grew sad. She wished they'd be in Konoha already. She had been waiting for this, hoping that everything would finally clear up there. She was having a constant feeling as if her memories were crowding somewhere nearby, pressuring her more and more, and it was gradually exhausting her. During the day, she could distract herself if she didn't think about it on purpose, but at such moments she had nowhere to get away from herself. Or rather, from the sense of emptiness and at the same time this incomprehensible pressure. And this strange rift with Kakashi only made it worse. How quickly she'd become dependent on him...

The girl tried to fight back the surging longing, but at some point she could not restrain herself and let out a choked sobbing, immediately clasping her hand over her mouth, alarmed. Would be no good if he noticed. But it was already too late.

"Arina, what is it?" Kakashi raised himself on the elbow, turning to her.

"Nothing, everything's fine," Arina replied hastily and held her breath.

Kakashi turned to his other side, facing the girl. He looked at her, trying to distinguish her in the dark for some time, then sighed with resignation.

"Come here, you..."

He put his hands underneath her and pulled her to him, at the same time turning her to face him.

"Kakashi..." The girl freed her hand from under the blanket and held on to him, snuggling up – in particular also to not get too exposed: her clothes were still drying and her only garment, in fact, was that very blanket, so thoughtfully obtained back then at Hofu.

"Are you overthinking again?" Kakashi whispered.

"Yeah... but... should get used to it by now... you don't need to worry..." The girl buried her forehead in his chest.

"I don't think so..." Kakashi objected softly. "I do care about what is going on with you."

"I thought you were doubting..."

Kakashi gritted his teeth. Having carefully weighed all the pros and cons, he said cautiously:

"I have some... concerns, let's put it that way... I think you understand yourself... It's not just – and not so much – the age. But I'm not going back on my words."

"Then prove it..." Arina said, slightly pulling away so that she could look into his face, and suddenly, upon seeing the flicker in his eyes, she got scared of her own words.

"I'll regret it later, but..." Kakashi removed his mask and kissed her, at the same time squeezing her with his palms. "Shit..."

He almost growled – equally from the surging sensations and anger – at himself. He had feared the night the most – it was somehow easier to control himself during the day. And once again he couldn't understand: why, why in the world could he not pretend that he didn't hear that sob? No, he had to get to the bottom of it. Always looking for trouble...