Stories About Love, Pain, And Friendship

some fluff i wrote when the power went out

Recently I have made friends with the class fool.

His legal name is Henry Meyer, but that is not what the other competitive spirits in class refer to him as. He has been remarked as quite dim, and slow, by all of our professors, and he struggled a lot with classes. Because of this, he asked me to tutor him, and to help him out.

Seeing as currently we're sitting inside his dorm room, looking through practice booklets and questions and notes, I begrudgingly agreed to help him.

Originally, I thought this would be detrimental. That it would take up time from my day to study and practice, but... explaining concepts to other people and engaging in deep discussion with them about the topic actually helped me memorize it a lot more... He said I would make a great teacher.

He was a difficult student. It felt like he didn't care much about what I was trying to help him learn, but day after day he was getting better. He improved and soon enough him and I were getting similar grades. He had grown, and improved, and I was more than proud of him, as he said he was proud of me.

He always reflected my praise. I never understood why.

It's a relaxing Friday evening, and we were answering more and more questions, preparing for a standard exam next week, same day. A smile made its way across my face as he answered a question in great detail, giving me the full on definition. Despite me explaining more things and delving deeper into an explanation of a certain topic in our material, he did not seem to react much, only giving a slight hum of approval, as he looked down at the massive assortment of books on our table. As if he didn't even choose to be here.

"You seem bothered. Is something wrong?" I asked him, as he turned his head to me and shook his head. "I'm just- really tired... can we take five?" He asked me, gesturing to the clock in the room. Indeed, we've been going at it for longer than we've imagined. Still, I couldn't let that happen.

"We need to keep going. Taking a break will take time away from studying and preparing."

"So you just work all the time? Doesn't that get exhausting?"

I blinked in confusion at his question. Sure, it gets tiring, but what's the point in that? There is work to do, plenty of it. There is no time for "breaks". "Well, yes but... we still need to keep going. Breaks can take away precious time." I explained, as he sighed, softly and sadly.

I don't know why, but some deeply rooted part of me hated seeing him sad, or pouty. He usually was dull and expressionless, like a curious child, which often annoyed me greatly. But some times... he was just a bundle of emotion. Sometimes... he just made me feel warm and happy. Seeing him giddy and smiling whenever he got things right or sassy and dynamic whenever we had little debates together was truly enjoyable.

You could even say we were... friendly, at the time.

"How's this... If we finish the rest of this practice book, we can take ten. Deal?" I asked him, presenting my gloved hand. He looked at me with those big eyes of his, blinking cutely. As if he was trying to understand the underlying motives of my three simple sentences. He smiled brightly and shook my hand, with a firm, yet gentle handshake. "Deal!"

I still remember that evening... talking over questions, reciting different definitions and explaining things the other didn't understand (mostly me explaining to him) made the aftermath absolutely worth it. He made us warm beverages and sat next to me, asking me questions, and listening to me talk and talk.

What surprised me about him is that with him, there were no "right" or "wrong" answers. For example, my parents reprimanded me for not wanting to join a big firm when I first get out of law school, but he didn't seem to mind it. He only encouraged my journey and wished me well, with a big bright smile on his face.

Other times, he reprimanded me for comparing myself to others, or demeaning myself. "It doesn't matter if you get one bad grade or you feel lost, confused, disoriented... I still think you're capable of great things! I believe in you."

That's a statement that resonated with me, to hear him say he believes in me.

And how did I thank him?

By shoving him away while patting his whole face, while hiding my own. "Stop it, you are being illegal sweet." I told him, as he started laughing, softly and gently. "Buuuuuut I can't help it! You're nice to me!" He responded, as he staggered up and sat next to me again.

I turned to face him, maintaining eye contact, with a small, tired smile. "Well you are nice as well... thank you, for being my friend." I told him, with a smile. It's true, he was my first ever friend. My family disapproved of friendships, and Law school gave me little time to do anything, so finding a friend amongst all of that... was truly the greatest thing.

Maybe not even a friend... perhaps hopefully something more?

"Cedric don't say that! You're genuinely nice to be with... and well- I appreciate you for putting up with me." He answered me, with that same, sweet, caring smile.

I'm happy he convinced me to take a break that evening. We both needed some time to unwind and to talk about life and let ourselves just take the world in. And I am happy to experience this with my first ever friend.