Take the Next Step

Am I still loving you?

They arrived at the restaurant and ordered food and drinks. After a while, they had to give a speech to the employees. Then, Ito began to say that he hoped they had a successful project and would work harder to achieve their desired results. Takumi continued and hoped that they would all stay strong and would have fun as well.
They looked at each other, and for a moment, it felt like they had traveled back in time when they used to work with each other and were still best friends. The employees cheered, and the dinner began. They talked a lot, drank and, after a while, the employees decided to go for another drinking round; they chose to go to the karaoke. There they sang and consumed a lot. Takumi and Ito were drunk, but they hadn't talked all night. Suddenly one employee decided that Takumi should sing a song to celebrate today. Takumi declined, but the other employees insisted, so the employee chose a theme. Takumi was reminded of the memories he and Sakura created together when he heard the song. It was both their favorite song called heartache from One Ok Rock.

The music began, and Takumi began to sing:
So they say the time,
It takes away the pain,
But I am still the same (Ah)

And they say that I
I will find another you
That can't be true(Ah)

Why didn't I realize?
Why did I tell lies?

Yeah, I wish I could do it again (Oh)
Turning back the time
Back when you were mine, all mine

So this is heartache
So this is heartache
All this pain in my chest, my regrets
And things we never said, oh baby
So this is heartache
So this is heartache

( The song that Takumi sang was from ONE OK ROCK Heartache)

Ito listened to every word Takumi sang and realized that Takumi still loved Sakura. He couldn't believe that Takumi still had the guts to have feelings for Sakura after what had happened after all these years. He clenched his fist, stood up, and went out of the room. He couldn't see Takumi right now. Otherwise, he didn't know what would happen if he stayed longer.

Finally, the song was over, and Takumi saw that Ito had gone out. Of course, he understood and was sorry for him, but he didn't know that this song would be played. He felt guilty because he was remembered for all the happy memories he had created with Sakura behind Ito's back. He knew it was wrong, but he couldn't help himself; he loved her so much. That even his long friendship with Ito didn't matter to him. He was a selfish jerk and had to admit that what he did was just a coward. He should have told Ito about his feelings towards Sakura from the being, and this way, maybe Ito would have said that they could be together until they married. But he was so selfish that he didn't think about it. He hated himself for it and didn't know if he would apologize to Ito if he accepted it. Since he even got the girl he loved pregnant, he had to raise his child. Takumi knew that nothing would be equal to what he did. No apologies or actions would solve this. He had destroyed his friendship with Ito and the life of the girl he loved the most.

As Takumi thought about it, he grabbed a beer and drank even more, not because he wanted to but because he was devastated. Because of all this, he would never meet his daughter, and he also hoped that she would never find out the truth, who her birth father was. Because he would be so ashamed of his father would know that kind of man her father was. Ito came back and sat down; he looked at Takumi and saw him drinking and laughing; he wasn't sure if he was happy or depressed. The employees left, and only a few remained; Ito, Takumi, and two others. Takumi had fallen asleep, and when he woke up, he saw Ito and the other employees. Ito stood up and went to the door; Takumi wanted to talk to him, so he stood up and followed him outside.

Ito walked to a car when Takumi grapped him on his shoulder with his hand and said: Wait, Ito. I have something to say. Ito didn't even turn around and grapped the car door's handle. Takumi now grapped him on his shoulder again, and Ito was forced to look at him. Takumi said: I am sorry for everything. Ito didn't know what to say, so now he wanted to apologize. Ito: Do you think an apology would solve everything just like this?
Takumi: No, of course not, but I thought this was something you deserved to hear many years ago. Ito was furious; he couldn't contain his emotions anymore. Who did Takumi believe he was? After all these years of friendship, he had broken it because he had begun an affair with the girl he loved, and Takumi knew that Ito loved Sakura. Still, he chose his love over their friendship, and in the end, he was the one that had to raise a daughter that wasn't his. He loved Aiko like she was his own, but thinking her birth father was once his best friend hurt him.
He was hurt, and thinking how Sakura, the girl he loved, had to suffer all because of this asshole made him even angrier. Ito punched Takumi in his face. Takumi fell and held his lips. He knew he deserved it, and Ito shouted: Don't you ever think I will forgive you. You asshole

And so he went inside his car and drove back home.
Takumi lay on the ground and laughed; why did he even think this was a good idea? He then stood up and called a taxi. At home, he went to take a shower. After he finished, he stood before his mirror and observed himself in the mirror. He thought about everything that had happened, and as he looked at his face, his eyes, frustration, and anger built up, and the next thing he did was punch the mirror. He didn't stop until his fist bled, and the mirror was broken. After all these years, he had hoped that everything he had achieved would help him cope with the guilt, anger, and hate towards him, but it didn't. And after he saw Sakura and his daughter at the mall, he knew that everything was a lie, and he deceived himself into believing that if he worked hard and achieved a lot, the guilt would fade away. But it didn't.