Fourteen

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YOUR POV

I never was overly religious. I grew up in a somewhat religious town but nothing extreme. To find me in a church must mean it's one of the worst days of my life, it means I'm praying for someone. I've only ever prayed for one other person before today. Today I'm praying for my daughter.

- Amelia : Do you want me to sit with you?

- y/n : Yes please

- Amelia : Okay

I've got to do this in my head because saying it out loud means that Amelia will hear.

- Amelia : Can I hug you? I'd like to hug you

- y/n : Mhm

- Amelia : Tell me what you're thinking

- y/n : That I should've realised

- Amelia : Don't blame yourself. Appendicitis presents it's self in different extremes. We're taught that in med-school. No two cases are the same

Where's Jack you ask, he's pacing the corridors blaming me.

- Lexie : Hey. She's out of surgery now

- y/n : Thank you so much. Thank you both

- Arizona : Stop the tears, she's okay. I know it's easier said than done but she's okay so no more tears. We have a Winnie to go see

- y/n : Where are you going?

- Amelia : I'm going home

- y/n : Stay? For me?

She's staying for me. She's holding my hand to stop me scratching at the other one. She's picking up on my habits, I guess she doesn't entirely hate me.

- y/n : Hey Wins. I'm sorry I didn't pick up on it but it won't hurt in a couple of days. It'll just be surgery pain

- Arizona : As you know, it'll take a while for her to wake up. When she does then just let someone know

- y/n : Thank you again

- Arizona : It's my job and it's my friend's kid, I wasn't going to say no

I need to see Jack, tell him that Winnie is okay and out of surgery.

- y/n : Can you stay with Winnie while I go find Jack? He needs to know she's out of surgery

- Amelia : Yeah. If she wakes up I'll call you

- y/n : Thanks

There's going to be yelling. He almost yelled at me earlier but I was already crying and Andy was here with him so she told him to take a walk.

- Jack : Go away Y/n. I don't want to see you right now

- Andy : He doesn't mean that. He's just upset

- Jack : No, I'm mad. You're a surgeon and you couldn't pick up on your own daughter having appendicitis

- Andy : Jack

- Jack : No. You brushed it off as a stomach bug and then you had the nerve to go out tonight with god knows who

- Andy : Jack, that's enough

- Jack : Now my daughter is in surgery. If I wasn't so in love with you and cared so much about our daughter's feelings then I'd take her away from you in a heartbeat

He would take her away from me. He thinks I'm a bad parent.

- Andy : Jack just shut up and listen to your fiancé. How do you expect to be able to survive a marriage if you can't listen to her?

- y/n : Winnie's out of surgery. She's okay

- Jack : Oh thank god. Y/n, I'm-

- y/n : No. I'm upset and you know how I get.

- Jack : Why are you upset? You made a mistake but she's fine

- y/n : You called me a bad mother Jack. You said that if you didn't love me you'd take her away. I do everything I can for that little girl so don't you dare say anything like that again

He's on the sofa, or I am. I can't sleep next to him right now. All we seem to do is fight and argue and get mad or upset at each other. The wedding is in three weeks. Everything is sorted, ready. There's no going back now. I have to marry him, if not for me then for Winnie.

- Amelia : She's not up yet

- y/n : Thanks

- Amelia : What's wrong?

- y/n : He said that if he didn't love me or care about Winnie's feelings that he'd take her away

- Amelia : What?

- y/n : He called me a bad mother. Not good enough

- Amelia : Don't get mad at me. Stop shouting. Deep breathes. You know that's not true. I've seen how you are with Winnie.

- y/n : We don't stop arguing. It's all we do. We work, take care of Winnie but during our alone time we argue or make small talk. He's going to be my husband in three weeks, how do I make small talk for the rest of my life?

- Amelia : Maybe push the wedding back? It's not ideal but then you can get to know what you want

I can't push the wedding back. My Dad's are going to be there and they're getting old. My Dad is 68, Pa is 75. I don't know how long we've got and I need them at my wedding.

- y/n : I can't push the wedding back

- Amelia : It's up to you

- y/n : Ugh

- Amelia : Want a hug?

- y/n : Please

She's my boss but she's also my friend. I need a friend right now.

- Amelia : Why don't you try to get some sleep?

- y/n : I can't

- Amelia : Look, go to sleep and I'll stay awake and wake you up if Winnie wakes up before you

- y/n : Are you sure?

- Amelia : Yeah

I'm exhausted. I've cried a fuck ton, I had a busy day today anyway, I'm drunk and I just need sleep. Some of my problems might be solved if I went to sleep.

Authors Note
Have a drink and a
snack please

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