[~] east's oneshots ~ hc/mcyt

crashing my own funeral

(Grian Crack, 405w)

Dear Diary,
I pride myself in my ability to fly. Unlike many of the other hermits, I don't use an elytra, as I was born with wings, so I've had a lot of time to practice flying. Mine are big, fluffy parrot wings, which are great for being a strong flyer and they're easy to preen… 

But holy crap, they suck in rain and in water. They get all sticky and heavy and uncomfortable and I can still sorta fly but it SUCKS ASS. >:(

But anyway, the other day I was frantically trying to fly back to Boatem, because I knew there was gonna be a storm soon… but, like the main character I am, I just had  to get caught in it.

Heavy water droplets began pushing me down at an alarming rate. My feathers started getting wet, absorbing the water and getting heavier and heavier, starting to pull me out of instead of keeping me up in the sky.

The last thing I remember is being engulfed in warm, tropical water to end my fall. Then I blacked out.

…

I woke up the next day, soaking wet, on an island I didn't recognize. 

I was all turned around, and I'd lost the majority of my supplies. I had one single  shulkerbox, which only had some bread, like, three rockets, the key to the G-Train and my spare silk-touch pickaxe. And my wings… oh, my wings... They were still drenched and heavy, and had seaweed tangled between the feathers. They were sore, and I could barely stretch them out without sharp spasms of pain shooting through my back.

But honestly, I'm a survivor. 

I've been in worse situations, with even less resources. Within the next week, I was in well enough shape to fly home. I traded for a map, so I knew where I needed to go. If I wanted, I could even just simply take a boat…

But the thing is.. I kinda wanna crash my own funeral.

Because the rules are, on the Hermitcraft server, if a player goes missing with no explanation or trace, then everyone is expected to search for them. But, if the player isn't found within the next six months, they're pronounced dead, and X hosts a small funeral.

I've done the calculations, and I've determined the exact date that they'd hold my funeral.

I'm showing up on that day.

I'm gonna be in so much trouble.
-G