Becoming Bad

chapter thirty-seven

My eyes get watery at that exact moment and I grab the bear he left behind to give it a kiss, cursing myself again for not waking up to say goodbye.

In the middle of Cars 2, the third or fourth movie Sammy chose with a big smile on his face, I fell asleep but I promised it would be only five minutes. Fuck,

I used to be a big sister, now, I feel like an impostor. 

"I will call him later, thanks, Kayla." She nods and rubs my arm again, this time being compassionate towards my situation. Sometimes, I forget she knows what it feels like to worry about a brother, older or younger. 

"Alright, now, tell me why you woke me, huh?" I rub off the tears and look straight into her eyes, putting what happened in the back of my mind, as I often do, and already pissed that a headache grows on my temples. 

I haven't been sleeping much these days, my nightmares getting a bit out of control and I need every sleep I can get, without interruptions. 

She rolls her eyes.

"I thought you would want time to get ready for a party in a couple of hours." 

Did I hear it right?

"Wait, what?" 

Her smile is malefic. 

"It's the end of football season, Lina, remember the big party that always happens in the house of the captain of the team?" 

I'm caught off guard, completely lost in what time of the year we are but I know what she is talking about. All senior year is invited, mandatory and it's the one thing Bella couldn't shut up about during our freshmen year, how we would enjoy it like there's no tomorrow. 

So innocent back then, back when Eric was with us. 

Now I shove it to the back of my head, one more thought like this and I won't be leaving my bed. 

It takes me some seconds but I get back to the conversation, nodding at her question. 

Her eyes glisten and I can't help but feel a little excited for her. It's the first big event that she will be officially dating Chadwick, they will be finally free to show their affection towards each other. 

"We are going!" 

Now, I'm more than confused.

"But how? Damien and you, gosh," I need to take a breath not to curse her and him, "you two said I shouldn't leave the house, not until the revenge you would take on the Cobras was done, that's the only reason I stayed in with Sammy today." 

She shrugs her shoulders and I swear I feel the urge to leave but I don't. Not when Kayla stood by my side through all that has happened. 

"Apparently, they did something, I don't know. Damien told me we could all go since it's a huge party, with too many variables for an attack to be planned. We are going to be fine." She opens a smile and I roll my eyes, taking another deep breath before nodding. 

I trust them, I need to, or else I will go crazy. 

"We are going to meet Damien there?" I don't know if I want to hear the answer or not, but he's my fucking boyfriend. I should know these things, all the time.

"Of course not, we are all going together like always. Everything alright with you two?" I nod even quicker now, the last thing I want to talk about being the reason our relationship has stuck.

I get up and fake a smile, one I was sure I wouldn't need to use again before grabbing her hand to head straight to our bedrooms.