House of Winter

Chapter 35, Part 1

Sanna was quiet as she listened to Katja. But she was truly listening to her for the first time. This wasn't the Katja she knew, who spoke of Raphael as her darling prince who took her to the opera and sent her strings of pearls. This was a Katja who dreamed of a brighter future for her people. It was a Katja that Sanna had never known.

"We thought through everything," Katja went on. "And I know you won't believe me, because you think I'm selfish and I only ever think for myself. But all that Raphael and I spoke about... it was for the people, Sanna. It was always for the people of Norrlund and Lombardia. Because I didn't want children to grow up in my nation and sleep on the streets, like you did when you were a child."

"I believe you," Sanna said quietly.

Katja looked down at her hands again. "I don't know if I can do it all alone."

Sanna remained silent, waiting for Katja to continue. The fire crackled.

"Everything we spoke about," Katja said. "It seemed so easy when we were drinking strawberry wine. It seemed so easy because I knew that I would do it with him at my side. We could rebuild the whole world, together. But now that he's gone, I don't know if I can do it all by myself."

Sanna imagined what she could say at this moment. She imagined an empty platitude. She could tell Katja that she wouldn't be alone. That she'd have someone by her side. She could even tell Katja that Sanna would stand by her side. Or she could tell Katja that she was strong enough to do it alone.

"If you believe in this," Sanna said delicately. "Then you will do it, no matter how difficult. To give up would be an insult to his memory. But more importantly, it would be an insult to your people."

Katja's gaze flashed up to meet Sanna's, and Sanna held it.

"And what will you do, Sanna?" Katja asked. "For so long you have been behind me. But now I finally see that you need to stand on your own. But will you stand beside me, or will you stand against me?"

"At the moment, I just want to make sure that Ari is safe."

"What's going on with you two?" Katja asked.

"Nothing."

Katja gave her a level look, and Sanna averted her gaze and looked into the fire.

"She's your ward," Sanna said. "Don't you care about her?"

"We'll find her in the morning. You saw her. She was angry. And she's right, she deserves to be angry. I expect she'll have some valiant plan to go to Vulfholm and turn herself into my mother to try to stop a war. We'll let her blow off her steam tonight and tomorrow we'll find her and remind her that she's not a martyr."

"What if something happens to her?"

"She's got a bloodthirsty dragon," Katja said. "That beast is dangerous. And there's nothing out here but forest. She got all the way to Kakaio, didn't she? She'll survive one night on her own."

Sanna still felt restless, and she considered waking Sigrún and setting out into the darkness to find Ari. But Sigrún wasn't so good of a tracker, and Sanna worried they would get lost.

And there was another thing that was nagging at the back of Sanna's mind.

Ari was safe now, away from Kakaio. She had done her duty, to bring Jinni back to Lumi, and now Katja would protect her. Which meant that Sanna didn't need to look after her any more.

If she wanted, she could run. She could set off in the middle of the night, just as Ari had, and go back to General Virani.

It was what she had always meant to do. Now that Ari was safe... there was nothing keeping Sanna here. She didn't need to follow Katja for the rest of her life. She could be her own person. She could claim her Kaio heritage. She could follow her mother's footsteps.

Maybe, she could even marry Tai.

Sanna remembered the hurt in Ari's voice.

But Ari was just a ward. An orphan of the Fire War. She didn't even have a wolf. She had nothing, except an ability to memorise poetry and a brilliant mind for history and politics.

"I'm going to sleep," Katja announced, and left Sanna by herself, staring into the fire.

Sanna had two choices.

She could run back to Tai, who would give her the world. A burning world, but a world nonetheless.

Or she could follow her heart, and give up all semblance of power.

... to be continued

let me know in the comments - what do you want Sanna to do?

hope you have a lovely week! xx elle