Tears of Starlight

Chapter Three

Kana's POV:

She was a horrible person. The weight of the comforter weighed her down like the rest of the world. Sinking deeper into the mattress and pillows, she tried to banish the images of Cerberus' and Anemone's deaths from her mind.

Her child was dead.

She felt so heavy, like the world was pressing down on her, and only she could carry it. Pathetic. Yesterday had been laughter, dinner, and memories with her family.

They looked at her like a person. Not the Champion of Terrassen, or the Ghost of Doranelle, or the Champion of the Mother, or the Princess of Rask. Instead they looked at her like she was worth something, instead of being a slaughterer.

Lips pulled down into a frown she watched as the sun crept higher and higher into the sky. Her family would hate her soon, when she told them the truth. Heart wrenching in her chest she dared close her eyes and pray for another hour of nothingness.

Her door creaked open and on silent steps Vaughan sat down on the edge of the mattress. He glanced down at her and tapped her neck before running a soothing hand through her hair.

She closed her eyes, allowing herself to feel the comfort. Even if she didn't deserve it. She was so selfish. He didn't tell her to get out of bed, or that she was being lazy.

Vaughan murmured, "Are you hungry?"

She shook her head and he hummed, gliding his fingers over her pulse. She studied the mountain peaks, reacquainting herself with the details, reminding herself that this was Velaris and not the mountains of the Ferian Gap.

Vaughan hummed and offered, "You don't have to tell them."

She glanced at him and whispered, "That's not fair to them."

"It doesn't need to be fair," He hissed softly. "If you aren't ready then it's none of their damn business."

Perhaps not. She just sighed and continued glaring out the bay window, Vaughan twirled a piece of hair around his finger and whispered, "What can I do to make today better?"

Something so tiny that warmed the remaining dust of her heart. She whispered, "I want to get them all something while we're here. Especially our darling Witch Queen, she deserves a nice knife."

Vaughan nodded and said, "Feyre will come up here herself in a few minutes."

She groaned and buried her face in a pillow. Lazy. Yes, she knew she wasn't what she used to be. Worthless, she couldn't even care to impress her sister, or look good. Pathetic, so pathetic.

She didn't pull her face from the pillow and Vaughan murmured, "What do you feel like doing?"

She'd learned over the past few months making plans was futile, it depended on how she felt on the given day. Whether she could stand to look at herself in the mirror, stand to be stared at and pointed at by people.

Wrapping her fingers through Vaughan's he tilted his head and softly tugged her upright. He sighed as whispered, "What do you want to do?"

She shrugged, "Something easy."

He nodded and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Easy hmm? So reading? Maybe shopping, but you've never really liked shopping. You could give me an official tour of the city?"

She shrugged once more and sighed, cupping her face in her hands. "I feel like a horrible person."

Vaughan frowned, "It's okay to feel that, we all feel it sometimes." He rubbed her shoulder, carefully. She whispered, "I'm sorry for being so difficult."