#TFW (That Feeling When) ⚊ Lee Heeseung [#2]

✗ forty five ✗

⚊ chapter forty five

The chill of evening just had started to set in and my bare arms are covered in goosebumps. Without saying anything, Ni-ki removes his jacket and offers it to me.

I accept it gratefully and wrap myself up, letting it swallow me. As we drive in his motorcycle, silence falls softly between us.

Ni-ki in typical style says little if he knew you were the one having problems, but it's not that I'm glad for. It's everything he does - offering to give me a ride to clear my mind that has me thankful he's my friend.

We don't speak for miles until I finally mumble, "Have you ever done something you regret? Regret that will follow you anywhere?"

He glance at me before returning his gaze to the road, "Sure, I have lots of regrets, things I did not say. I'm guessing you do too after seeing that girl?"

I bit my lip and nod as he continues, "Want to know my biggest regret this year?"

I turn to the side mirror so I could see him and examine his features carefully. His eyes are on the road but his jaw is clenched.

I've never really thought of Ni-ki as someone who has regrets. He seems so focus on the here and now, he was even open to his father about how he hated him.

But I shouldn't be surprised that there's so much to him more than I thought.

"So uh.. no one really knows about this other than me, I'd like to keep it to myself because I thought it wasn't a big deal", His jaw tenses and I reach out to touch his shoulder, "I like this girl, very much so and let's just say it had been too late for me to get her. She's already taken"

I say nothing for a moment but squeeze his arm. If anything, this story amplifies my curiousity about him. Is this the girl my brother is saying who broke Ni-ki's heart and the one Heeseung doesn't want to share to me?

Who is this girl? She's lucky he wanted her, but sadly it seems like she have a man now.

"For the record, I have been there for two years, but if Heeseung didn't take a move, I would've regrets", I say, "I always have regrets"

Silence follows but I can hear Ni-ki's inaudible question. He wants to know how I feel about the past of Heeseung and Yumi.

My mouth goes dry as I try to explain everything, "I..I felt scared, of course. This Yumi is like the girl I had been jealous about two years ago before they broke up. I heard she was everything to him and you know that right?"

I take a deep breath, "Time may have passed but sometimes feeling doesn't and if the way Heeseung acted earlier was any indication that he's still affected, then I guess I have a right to be scared that I'll lose him"

The tears have returned and I angrily wipe them away before Ni-ki is stopping us to the side road where it leads to a rest stop and I silently follow him to a table in front of a drive thru McDonald's.

Ni-ki looks at me thoughtfully, "Do you really love Heeseung hyung?"

"Yes", I answer immediately, "I think I love him more than he loves me, and that's what made this more harder"

I'm so comfortable around Ni-ki that I almost forgot how I'm spilling out my secrets to him. Does he have any idea how I couldn't even tell this to my brother?

"Then he will be the one to have regrets if he didn't treat you right because I know for one thing, if he were to waste you for his ex, there will be someone to catch you"

I watch Ni-ki, surprised to hear him discussing the matters of heart. Though his gaze is elsewhere, I can see his emotions in the clench of his jaw and the focus in his eyes.