The Ugly Duckling (PUBLISHED UNDER PSICOM)

Ugly #31

Taxi ang sinakyan ko papunta sa estate pero nilakad ko lang ang loob ng estate dahil hindi ako pwedeng makita ni Sage na nakasakay ng taxi. Nakakatakot maglakad mag-isa kahit na may streetlamps sa estate nila at hindi gaanong madilim, pero wala naman akong magagawa.

Nang makarating ako sa clubhouse ay nakita ko agad si Sage na nakaupo sa isang concrete bench. Tumalon ang puso ko nang makita ko siya at unti-unting napangiti. I think I missed him today.

Hindi na ako nagsayang pa ng oras at lumakad papalapit sa kanya. Sa mukha niya lang nakatuon ang buong atensyon ko habang naglalakad. Nakatingin siya sa malayo at mukhang hindi pa ako napapansin. Mabuti iyon dahil gusto ko pa siyang titigan.

Hinayaan kong bumaba ang mga mata ko at sunod na tiningnan ang suot niya. He's wearing a burgundy colored hoodie. It looked nice on him. My eyes next drifted to the bottom part of his body but my vision focused on the object that Sage was holding on top of his lap.

I was a short distance away from him when my whole body froze. My steps halted and my body's temperature dropped and went cold. I couldn't feel my legs. The smile on my face disappeared and Sage chose that moment to notice my presence.

The blankness on Sage's face disappeared and his expression turned grim when he saw me. His jaw clenched and from there, I knew why he asked me to meet him here.

Nalaglag ulit ang mga mata ko sa hawak niya. Sinundan ni Sage ang tingin ko. Nang inangat ko ang tingin ko ay napansin ko ang pagngisi niya. His smirk didn't match the bitterness in his eyes. His lips were curved with atrocity.

Tumayo siya at naglakad papalapit sa akin. Tumigil sa paggalaw ang dibdib ko dahil tumigil rin ako sa paghinga nang makalapit siya sa akin. Hindi pa rin naalis ang ngisi sa labi niya nang inangat niya ang bagay na iyon. He watched me with his dark and unfeeling eyes. "Is this yours?"

I flinched when he raised it near my face. I could see it clearly now that it was right in my face. It was a mask. The same mask that I used when my friends dared me to steal his wallet. It was the same mask that I wore when Sage met the real Maria Celestine Sebastian.

Alam na niya. Hindi na ako magtatangahan pa. Hindi ko na ikakaila dahil alam kong alam na niya.

The fake smirk that was etched in his lips disappeared and disbelief slowly appeared across his face when I didn't answer. His dark eyes were now filled with scattered emotions.

"No..." Sage shook his head, not because he didn't believe it's the truth but because he couldn't accept it. His eyes glistened with tears that were threatening to fall. "Sabihin mo sa akin na hindi totoo, Maria Celestine. Please tell me that it's not true."

"Sage..." it came out as a soft whisper.

I flinched when Sage raised his hand. He didn't take his eyes off me. He didn't blink, not even for a second. I kept my eyes on him too, but only because I couldn't move and make myself look away. I was left completely immobile.

My lips parted when Sage touched my glasses and removed it from my face. His eyes hardened when he saw my face without the glasses. The material dropped on the ground as he stepped away and shook his head.

"It was really you." Sage whispered, looking all lost and confused. "It's really you."

My heart broke at how vulnerable he sounded. Sa boses niya ay parang ang dali niyang basagin at masaktan. I didn't know hearing and seeing him hurting would cause me this amount of pain.

"All this time... You were pretending to be... to be this... someone you're not. All this time, you were faking everything. All this time, all of this was just a game to you?"

I immediately shook my head at Sage, my eyes widened and my heart pumping wildly against my chest. My thoughts were all over the place just like my feelings but I needed to explain myself. "N-No, Sage. Hindi totoo yan. I wasn't-Not all of it... I'm not just-It's not-"

"It's not what?!" napatalon ako sa biglang pagsigaw ni Sage. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko sa pagkagulat at lumabo bigla ang mga mata ko. Nakatingin ako sa kanya pero hindi ko na siya masyadong makita.

"It's not true..." nanginginig ang boses ko at iyon lang ang matinong lumabas sa bibig ko. Hindi ko makayanan magpaliwanag sa sobrang lakas ng pagtibok ng puso ko. I couldn't control my mouth.

"Oh yeah, alin ang hindi totoo? Ikaw?" Sage said, spiteful. His voice turned harsher. Every words were starting to be filled with poison, hitting me in the chest like a dagger. "You used me. You played me, Maria Celestine. And for what? To prove something to your best-fucking-friend? That what you pretended to be could be loved? Yun ang totoo diba? Look me in the eyes and say it to my face that it's not true."

I continued staring at him with my blurred vision. He was livid. I didn't need a perfect eye sight to know that. I could feel his blood boiling. I could sense the anger that was vibrating off his skin. "FUCKING TELL ME!!"

I jumped again. My lips were starting to quiver. I was out of words. I was hurt and I was scared. I've seen Sage mad but he was never this mad at me. No one had ever been this mad at me. I was trembling inside but I did my best to hide it.

My heart almost dropped out of my chest when Sage held both of my arms and began shaking me. "Sabihin mo sa akin ngayon, Maria Celestine!" he shouted near my face as he shook my body. "Sabihin mo!"

"It's true." it sounded like a debilitated whimper.

Sage's tight grip on my arms loosened. His lips were parted as he looked at me. Until now, disbelief was still registered in his face.

"So, she was right." he murmured. I almost didn't caught it. I wasn't even sure if he wanted me to hear it. His vulnerability quickly disappeared and his expression switching into something firm. His eyes were laced with hatred and I don't think anything could hurt me any more than the way he looked at me with disgust and despise.

"Who... Who told you?"

"Does it matter?" his stone hard expression remained. "She was right anyway. You're nothing but a fake."

"Sage..." I called for him even though I wasn't sure what I could possibly say or if I could even say anything.

The hatred in his eyes disappeared and replaced it with void. There wasn't a single emotion in his eyes, even his face. My brain left me along with my coherence. My mouth opened but words failed to come out.

Sage shook his head at me, giving me a long apathetic look before turning around and leaving me alone with a huge hole in my chest.