Behind Closed Doors

04 - don't say that

I wish he was here.

The door opens, and someone gets behind me. They pull me close. It doesn't feel familiar. It's not Lyss or Zoey.

Elizabeth doesn't know me.

It's Natalia.

I'm too exhausted to turn around and push her off. And honestly, even if I wanted to, I wouldn't.

Wait. I phrased that wrong.

Even if I wasn't completely exhausted and I had the energy to push her off, I wouldn't. Cause I need to be held right now.

I turn around. It's Natalia.

"Don't take this personal, Hazelnut," she says.

"My father called me hazelnut," I whisper. Her face drops, and her jaw drops slightly. Regret crosses all over her face.

"I'm so sorry.. Hazel I- I didn't know.."

"I don't mind it when you call me it, for some reason," I say. She tilts her head and moves my hair out of my face.

"Why is that?" She whispers.

"I don't know," I say voice breaking. She wipes my tears and pulls me into her chest.

"You need to sleep, Hazel," she says. She holds the back of my head.

"Right," I whisper. I close my eyes and take a deep breath.

She smells like strawberry.

"Do you have something strawberry scented on?"

"Yes," she says.

"I can smell it."

"That's amazing information that I am going to use every single day," she says flatly.

"I like it," I whisper before falling asleep.

I wake up alone with no recollection of last night.

Why am I in the guest bedroom?

I stand up and stretch before grabbing my penguin and walking out. I see Lyss, Natalia, Zoey, and Elizabeth in the kitchen.

Wait. NATALIA??

"Why did I sleep in the guest bedroom?" I ask sleepily. Natalia's eyes widen.

She's so weird.

"You had a date last night and it didn't go as planned. I don't know what happened.. but you were not happy. So then you got in the shower and made it way too hot and it-" Zoey starts to say.

"Set off the smoke detectors and sprayed water all over my room?" I ask.

"Yeah.." she says.

"Did I lose it?" I ask.

"Yeah. You said you were gonna kill yourself and sleep in a casket," Zoey says. I laugh.

"Jesus.. I'm sorry," I say smiling.
"I didn't.. mean that. I'm.. not suicidal."

"Good! Do you want any breakfast?" Alyssa asks.

"No, no thank you. I'm not super hungry this morning." I go back into my room and run my hands over the drawing of my dad and mom sitting on my desk.

I look at my bed. I have a new comforter and new sheets and pillow cases. It was definitely Alyssa who did that.

I lay down in my bed and end up falling asleep again.

Again!!

But this time when I wake up, Natalia's in my room brushing her hair in my mirror. I turn to face her. I don't say anything, I just watch her do what she's doing.

She eventually feels her eyes on me though. She looks up at me and we hold eye contact through the mirror.

"Hi, Hazel," she says.

"No more Hazelnut?" I ask.

"I think that's you and your father's thing now, baby girl."

"How do you know about that."

"You told me last night," she says turning around and facing me.

"Oh," I say.
"What else did I say?"

"That you're in love with me." I laugh.
"I'm kidding."

"I know you are, idiot. I don't have romantic feelings for you," I say.

"No, really?" I roll my eyes.

"What are we supposed to do outside of the workplace?" I ask.
"And classes? Are we civil?"

"That would be quite weird, wouldn't it, Hazel? Being friends and rivals? One would outdo the other eventually."

"Maybe I want one to outdo the other." She locks eyes with me.

"Are you sure you don't have romantic feelings?"

"I'm sure, Natalia. I just think you're a good person outside of class," I say.

"I'm not a good person, darling," she whispers sitting on my bed.
"I know I'm gonna end up hurting you. I don't want to be friends. I can't be friends with you. You're too pure."

"I'm not pure," I say.

"Yes, you are. Yes, baby girl, you are." She puts her hand on my face. We hold eye contact again.
"I think it's best if we don't get to know each other. I won't come around here anymore. I'll see you at the hospital tomorrow. K?"

"But why, Talia?" I ask. She puts her hand on my face and rubs my cheek with her thumb.

"Because baby." She stands up and walks out.

What the fuck just happened?

A/N - my stomach hurts so bad rn

I love all of you sm!! 💜