Oasis

Chapter 17 (Giving up)

Oasis POV

I woke up early this morning, got ready and headed to my girl Bekah's space as soon as I heard her up and spent some time with duties. I feel so spiritually drained and as soon as we got back I went to my room and right back to bed.

As I laid in my bed I could not stop thinking about River. 

Maybe it was because of last night. The reality of him being married and it not  being me? I know I'm happy for Shen, she's so sweet but I feel attached to him.. Like he was supposed to be my husband, like I was supposed to be the mother of his children. I feel attached and I don't want to be. I want him out of my head.

It was announced the celebration is over which means they're about to get away. It's weird that they ended it so fast but good because I need space.

Consumed in wonder and thought a drifted back off to sleep.

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Later that day....

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I slowly opened my eyes disturbed by the knocking at my door wondering instantly if it was River. As I looked up towards it I see his head poke in calling out to me.

He wastes no time coming in if he doesn't hear me respond. 

I lazily sit up responding "yeah...".

He comes over and sits at the end of my bed looking right at me.

Rubbing my eyes, I get off the bed to go wash my face walking past him to the bathroom as his eyes followed.

As I'm washing my face, my heart beating slightly faster at the wonder of what he wants, I feel eager to know. 

I pat my face dry and fix myself before heading back into the room to sit beside him a little distance away.

He noticed and  moved closer to me.

After a minute of staring at the ground while he stars over at me he finally spoke.

"I love you" He says throwing me off guard.

He definitely threw me off guard but as fast as my heart fluttered at his words, I got upset knowing he just married. I felt almost angry that he never shared this with me before he decided to marry someone.

I got up and started pacing back and forth not knowing whether to tell him to get out or kiss him.

"Say something" he says after what felt like 5 minutes of silence.

I snapped at him. "WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY?"

I stopped directly in front him. "I think you should go."

"But.." he barely gets out before cutting him off. "Please" I put my head down in utter disappointment. 

He stood silent for a minute before walking towards and out the door closing it behind him.

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River's POV

I really screwed up in this whole situation I thought as I walked to head out the front door.

Shen was right here almost at the door startling me.

"Hey" I leaned in giving her a kiss on her forehead as we hugged.

I lingered keeping her in my arms knowing that despite how messed up I was behaving, she was still a pillar of rest and a breath of fresh air.