Rich

97 (Selene)

I pulled out my phone trying to decide who I could confide in while my world shifted on its axis. My family and my best friend's didn't even know Arizona. They barely knew what she and I went through together for this case. They're so outside my daily life these days, that I didn't feel I could seek comfort in them without having to explain half my life away.

I sat on the ground of this walking path and cried my eyes out. I got weird looks from people and only one person stopped to ask if I was okay. Nobody gives a shit about anybody but themselves.

My mind couldn't fathom it. Arizona, my sister?

Finally I pulled out my phone and typed out the message. *Me: I need you.* I hugged my knees and waited for a response. I almost thought I wouldn't get one, but was relieved when I did. I sent a pin to show where I was and the rest I could only explain in person. There was too much to say.

I thought about Reggie, the man I know is my sperm donor. I really didn't know shit about his life aside from the fact that he had a second family. I felt this strange connection to Arizona and I thought she was just a familiar soul, but now I don't know what to think of it.

In my child's mind I drew Reggie out to be a wicked man. I thought of his family as just as bad. I was a kid telling myself it was better they weren't around, but that child still whispers inside my mind when I think about this.

It tells me they are bad. That they don't care. And on the part of Reggie that is true. He is Arizona's father, but he isn't mine.

I wondered why he stayed in her life and not mine? Her personality type felt similar to mine, so what is so much better about her that I didn't have? My mind warped with questions about my past and how it's come to rear its head in my present. Why now? Why me?

When a pair of shoes stopped right beside me I looked up and was relieved to see Andrew standing there. He quickly knelt down and cupped my face. "What happened?!" He looked around him for some external source or clue. I stopped him and told him everything. He was just as shocked as I was.

"That's not at all what I expected to hear. Wow" he shook his head again. "Andrew, I can't handle anything else. I'm literally at my breaking point. I called you because-" I was going to finish, but he didn't let me. "You don't have to explain why you called. Come on, I'll take you home. I know you're at your breaking point. Let me help you" he told me.

I just nodded and let him help me stand up so we could walk to his car. "Did the media follow you?" I asked him. I was wiping my face from my tear stained cheeks.

"They did, but I pulled some 'fast and furious' type of moves and lost them. The car's hidden so we should be good" he assured me. He had me by the hand and was walking me to where we needed to go. I just followed silently.

When we got to the car we both sat inside and paused. We looked at each other at the same time, but both went to speak over the other. "Sorry, what were you going to say?" I asked him after neither of us said anything. "Nothing, let's get you home" was all he said before driving.

We were quiet the entire drive and luckily the media only caught a quick glimpse of us before we drove into the private way into the garage they can't access. Arizona's words kept tumbling around in my head and I just wanted to go sit on my balcony and try to find an ounce of peace.

Andrew followed quietly behind me.

"You know, I was gonna come find you anyways today" he finally spoke. "What do you mean?" We entered the house and both headed for the stairs at the same time. Faith was coming down the stairs and said hello, but caught the vibe and kept walking. I tried to wave, but I know I didn't look sincere.