Fighting Butterflies (BoyxBoy)

Eleven

"Why the fuck did you not tell me?" Drew screamed and the blond boy squeezed his eyes shut, squirming at how close the tall boy was to face. Ryan's heart beat loudly against his chest, he had never been this scared for himself, not since when he heard his mom and dad shouting at each other three years ago. He had never seen Drew so angry, and all Ryan could think was badly he had fucked up.

"Why didn't you fucking tell me?" Drew questioned again, voice firm and eyes hard as he glared so dangerously at Ryan.

"I wanted to!"

"Then why didn't you?"

"Because!" Ryan screamed. Because I couldn't bear the thought of you dating my best friend when I've been in love with you for years! Because I could only talk to you when you asked me about Nora and all I wanted was to keep talking to you! Because I fucking like you so much that seeing you with her would ruin me! Ryan wanted to shout.

Ryan was so ready to tell Drew everything. The words were on the tip of his tongue. He wanted to tell the tall boy all about how much he had loved and wanted him for years. He wanted Drew to know that couldn't bear the thought of him being with Nora. But Ryan knew things would get worse if he did. There was no way he could say any of that right now. Not with how angry Drew was. "Look, I know you like her and all, but as you said, you're still figuring shit out and I didn't want to rush that for you," Ryan said the lie, hating himself so much for it but going ahead anyway. "Yes, I've known for some time that she likes you but how will you feel going into a relationship when you literally know nothing about her?"

"That's still no reason for you to keep that from me. And the fact that you did makes me wonder if I can even trust you."

"Don't say that," Ryan said softly. His heart almost clenched at how hurtful Drew's statement was. Not once had Ryan given off the idea that Drew couldn't trust him and for Drew to say that just because of Nora? "Drew..." he whispered as he took slow steps toward him. He reached out to take his hand, stopping abruptly when Drew moved away.

"The fact that you never even mentioned it once when we've been hanging out for almost a month... did you even think about me at all? Did you consider my feelings?" Drew questioned haughtily, tone dripping with so much anger that Ryan felt he was going to drown in it.

This was not how he imagined the conversation would go. No, Ryan thought it would come at a later point when Drew was finally ready to seek Nora out. He never really thought Nora would have the courage to go up to the guy himself. But even then, the blond boy didn't understand why Drew was so angry. Was it really his fault that Drew didn't know Nora liked him? If he wasn't aware of how badly Ryan wanted him, there was no way he was going to find out about Nora either! And that was what annoyed Ryan.

"You don't get to ask me that!" Ryan growled lowly, trying his best to stand his ground even though his knees were wobbling and threatening to give out at any given moment.

"Yes the fuck I do!" Drew exclaimed as he stepped back, hands crossed as he glared at Ryan. "I bared out my fucking heart to you, Ryan," Drew stated. "I told you I liked your friend and you couldn't even tell me that maybe she liked me back? What the hell dude?"

Ryan breathed. "You never asked me if I knew she felt the same way. I just told you what you wanted to know. Drew I didn-"

"Or you're just a fag who wanted to get into my pants."

"Excuse me?" Ryan's eyes went wide, his mouth agape as he stared at Drew in disbelief. To hear such a word from Drew, even after they'd spent the last two weeks doing such intimate things he's never done with another person, broke Ryan's heart. He felt as though a bucket of ice had just been poured over him, as if he was drowning in the pain and hurt that the person he adored just dished out. It was as though his life was a glass wall that had just been hit with a rock, shattering into many tiny pieces and he couldn't put himself back together.