My Sister's Mate

Wedding Preparations

‘I have lost my thoughts. I am a panicked blob of pulpy flesh in search of a part of me that relates through recognition and verbalization to my environment. And suddenly, all the songs of depression are about me. This feeling is terrifying.' Lilah spun through her chaotic brain space for something to fill the emptiness. 'I am a lost body in search of myself. A girl to fill in the communication and beauty of words to make me at peace with the world around me. This experience of lost thoughts occurs to me when I awaken, especially abruptly. I feel no connectivity to my beloved objects. And having a mate, sometimes I wonder what that word means. If every wolf-blood truly has a mate, or is it just me?' A stifling wave of fear swept over Lilah once more, as tears blinked at the brim of her eyes. She rolled in a fetal position, from one edge of the bed to the other.

A terrible sickening dread gave her goosebumps. The thought of breaking Asher's heart slowed her blood. Fear shimmered throughout Lilah's body as she sobbed into her pillow. It was hard to breathe and live. She who was once sailing, in the ocean of life, was now sinking.

'Right now, nothing hurts me because nothing matters. However, I am not free of pain, rather I build walls from it and isolate myself to where it becomes easier to simply not speak and hope the world forgets me. Even anger and rage die. Nothing is worth being angry over. It has no value. This also robs me of the ability to enjoy anything, because of the feeling of not wanting to build up another disappointment. It’s easier to simply pass on anything potentially enjoyable because it could also turn painful as well. Love, hope, trust, loyalty, and even friendship become lies, even hateful to a broken person. I speak from my experience. You don’t want what I feel. To be broken is emptiness itself.’

“We have to buy the drinks on time. The decorations and refreshments should be ready, at least an hour before the commencement of the event.” Benita explained while Lilah was absent-minded, staring at nothingness. “Everything should be ready.” Benita pointed out.

She turned to Lilah and realized that she was withdrawn. Lost in thoughts.

“Lilah!” Benita called, and she was still. “Lilah!”

She tapped her shoulders, and she stifled. Jolted in fear. Lilah quickly held her head in pain, running her temple simultaneously by its side.

“Where is your mind? Is everything alright?”

“Ugh!” Lilah exhaled, dropping her hands tiredly. Making an etch in her memory.

“What are you thinking of?”

Lilah faked a smile. “Mum, it’s nothing.”

Benita stared at her with furrowed eyes, and she knew. “Are you sure?”

“I was just thinking about the wedding preparations, that’s all.”

Benita blushed. “So, what exactly were you thinking about?”

“I want to have a grand wedding, mum. This would be my dream wedding, unlike the other one. I want it by the side of the ocean and I need other wolf-bloods in other packs to attend as well. It should be the grandest wedding.” Lilah concluded.

“I can see that you’re serious about it but if that’s what you want. Then no problem. Conan is the beta of the Blue Moon pack, anyway. A grand wedding would be befitting.” She suggested. “So, is that what you were thinking about?”

“Mum, don’t worry. I’ll discuss the rest with Eliana and the wedding planner.” Lilah rolled her eyes with a satisfying smile.

Benita blushed, proud of her daughter’s decision. Marrying Conan would uplift their hierarchical status. And if Lilah births a son? He may become the next beta after his father. To be a beta’s wife with pride is better than being an Alpha’s wife with shame.