Too Good to be Bad 2 | Negan |

16 - Tunnel of death

The fight with the Whisperers may be over, but things aren't exactly back to normal at Alexandria. The horde destroyed many of our crops, we lost several horses and we were already low on supplies before everything.

When I returned to Alexandria I heard that Maggie was back. She'd been gone for years, helping out other communities and, I suppose, trying to put everything that happened with Negan behind her.

He killed her husband. The father of her child. She was pregnant at the time. It's one of the more horrible things he did. Although he did only do it after Rick and his people killed several dozen of ours. Still, I remember Derek describing how he smacked the man to death with Lucille right in front of Maggie and it's an image I'd rather forget.

I'm not sure how I feel about Maggie being back. She wasn't exactly very friendly towards me when I ended up at the Hilltop somewhere in the fight between Rick and Negan. Of course I was on the other side then and she knew about my past with Negan. But though I established great relationships with many people at all of the communities after everything was over, I never really got to know her.

But when she tells us that we can find all the supplies we need at her former community, I don't hesitate to volunteer. It's been taken by a small, but brutal group of people. It's a dangerous mission, but I don't care. It's been years since I was troubled by nightmares but lately they've come back. In my dreams I get cut to pieces by the Alpha, or I'm trapped in a forest, surrounded by the heads of my loved ones on spikes everywhere I look, or walkers that look a lot like MJ and Anna chase me and catch me and tear me apart. I'll do anything to keep my mind off them.

So now we're walking through the pouring rain, on the way to Maggie's old community. Negan's here, leading the way because he used to live around here. I still haven't talked to him. I've been meaning to tell him that I'm sorry for attacking him like I did and to thank him for saving me. But everything's been so bloody tense since Maggie showed up that I decided to focus on myself and my friends.

While I'm happy to take my mind off of my nightmares, this mission isn't exactly doing anything to cheer me up. I'm soaked to the bone and I'm freezing.

'We can't keep going like this!' someone shouts. Through the rain I can't even see who it is, but I certainly agree. Then a little while later we find ourselves at the entrance of a subway.

'We're going down!' Maggie announces. 'We'll travel through the tunnels.'

We all follow her into the subway station and take a moment to rejoice in the absence of water beating down on us.

'Fuck's sake', I mumble, twisting my hair to get some of the water out. 'Still happy you came along, Miguelito?'

Miguel stops beside me to wring his sweater our a little. After proving himself at the Tower, Alex couldn't talk him out of joining us on this expedition as well. But none of us are happy about it. I doubt the kid understands the danger and is too drawn by the glamour of excitement. Alex called this thing a suicide mission when he first heard about it, but decided to come after all to keep an eye on Miguel. I promised him I'd do the same. Max stayed back with the girls and Kieran stayed home too. Although he's usually keen to go on missions, Fred is getting close to her due date and he didn't want to be out here when it happens.

'What, you don't like going for a stroll in the rain?' Miguel retorts. 'Thought you'd feel right at home, didn't you say it rains in London like 300 days a year?'

'If we were home, we'd take shelter in the nearest pub and get wasted enough to sing in the rain', I say, taking a few steps towards the subway tracks.

'Not in a tunnel of death under a ghost town', I add more quietly, looking warily into the pitch black dark of the tunnel.

'Don't be scared, Lara', Cody says, coming up to throw an arm around me. 'You've got nothing to worry about, I'll keep you safe.'