Drapetomania

11

Chapter 11 | "Pills"

▪︎ Lorenzo Miller ▪︎

I hate my life.

I feel like I am dying right now -maybe I really am- I feel like my brain -what brain?- is being squished. I don't want to open my eyes, because I know what I am going to see isn't something beautiful, or happy, or exciting. The smell of smoke fills my nostrils, and subconsciously my nose scrunches upwards. Probably the world is on fire. About time.

After what people have done to it, I wouldn't like being used like it is. Luckily, I am only used as a beauty standard and an icon. What would people do without me? They would probably die. Poor them.

But right now, I don't feel like a beauty standard nor an icon. I feel like I am the earth and those stupid human beings are ruining me. It's terribly awful.

As if that wasn't enough my arm is being repeatedly poked and my hair is being pulled. I think I am going to go bald after this. I'll murder whoever is doing this. Hair and money are my priorities.

And all this pain because I am not being let to sleep. Sleep always makes everything better. And my head would be fine.

Why can't they just leave me sink in my amazingly hot and beautiful dreams? Oh yeah, there is no life without me. I understand.

Just as I decide that I will finally wake up and honor them with my presence, an unnecessarily annoying and unpleasant voice with a heavy accent that usually makes me unable to understand speaks, "Lorenzo, wake the fuck up."

I groan, "No." But he doesn't stop. As if it wasn't enough that he spend my precious money on that spaghetti food he wanted, he can't just shut his mouth.

My arm is poked again and I am fuming. My eyes snap open, only to be met with a fire in front of me just as I catch the sun falling down and crashing-

Just kidding, I am met with the bright colors of our hotel's room, so bright that my eyes hurt. Then, an ugly face -Alex's face- comes into my view, black messy hair, grey eyes, an annoyingly perfect nose and jawline. "Morning, sunshine."

"Please, shut your mouth." I mumble, before I grab a pillow I find beside me and throw it at him. His lips curl up a little before going back to his normal blank face and throws it back, meanwhile I dive my head into the sheets.

"Told you he is not a moring person." Brianna's voice is heard, just a second before she comes into view.

Her blonde hair is caught up in a bun while some strands are pulled out of it, she is wearing a baby blue crop top with some black sweatpants. Alex on the other hand has a white t-shirt and some grey sweatpants on. Meanwhile, I only have some grey shorts on.

"So what? I've learned to appreciate my sleep." I reply to Brianna's comment.

"I can certainly see that." She mumbles.

Well, it is not my fault that I have this never-ending adoration for sleep. A few people have asked me why. There are endless reasons why, but I always answered that sleeping is an easy way for time to pass. Although in reality for me it is so much more than that. For instance, by sleeping I manage to recharge my social battery, because I can not deal with people without having the right amount of it. I may be fond of people, but that doesn't mean they don't get on my nerves at times. So if I have managed to sleep the night, I can tolerate them without blowing up.

Despite my love for sleep, I can not sleep easily. I struggle with that actually. I was diagnosed with chronic insomnia at the age of 14, as a child I never thought much of not being able to sleep before the diagnosis. I always thought that the reason behind the endless sleepless nights and the exhaustion that followed the next day were due to the fact that I was afraid of what might be lurking in the dark, or that I was the one causing it by watching a show.