Consumed -[Completed]

Oblivion

*trigger warning*

{penitence: noun// the state of being penitent; regret for one's wrongdoing or sinning}

Sunlight slices through the curtains stirring me from the shadows of my dreamless sleep, forcing my eyes to take in my surroundings blearily. Groggily, I become very aware of my naked body between the sheets and the arm wrapped tightly around my torso; immediately I freeze feeling the panic cut through my veins like glass. My heart rate speeds, causing the blood to pound in my ears, my skin becomes slick with a cold sweat, and I cringe as the man behind me shifts in his sleep.

It's not until I've scrambled recklessly out of bed that I realize this isn't a random guy and that I have not repeated my past. The breath I blow from between my swollen, burgundy stained lips is shaky as my hands slide in my hair and my mind races through the scenes of last night. Ashton hovering over me, slowly and gently loving me...; I shake my head at the thought scanning the floor for my sweater, ignoring the familiar after-sex tug in each muscle I move.

Unable to find my sweater, or bra for that matter, I grab one of Ashton's hoodies sliding it over my head leaving the hood up to cover my messy hair. Thankfully finding my jeans and boots quickly, I manage to shove my limbs into them pausing briefly at the door watching the slow rise and fall of Ashton's back as he sleeps.

Closing the door to his room as quietly as I can I turn on my heel faced with a sleepy, cranky Harry stumbling towards his brother's room. My heart lurches as he reaches for the door handle, "Wait!" I whisper urgently receiving a strange glance from Ash's little brother. "Just, wait until I leave to wake him...please?" I murmur, squeezing Harry's shoulder lightly sending him a silent plea with my eyes.

"Okay...?" He shrugs, pushing past me redirecting his route to the bathroom. I let out the breath I was holding in, praying I'm not faced with anymore obstacles upon my escape.

The house is eerily silent compared to the usual ruckus filling Ashton's home; this silence is the kind that consumes my empty, lonesome house. I peek around the corner expecting to find Ash's mom cooking breakfast for all of us like she normally would on a Saturday morning, but she's nowhere in sight. Lauren, Ashton's little sister, passes by informing me quietly that her mother has gone to the store to pick up groceries. Nodding I tell her to let Anne know that I have gone home so no need to feed me, chuckling at me she nods focusing back on her phone as she sits on the couch.

Without another word I slip out the front door, walking briskly through the yard and sprinting across the street mentally screaming at myself for being so goddamn stupid.

What have I done? What have I done? What have I done? I fucked up.

The birds sing cheerily around me causing me to roll my eyes. Really I should be the cheeriest person in the world right now, the love of my life admitted he was in love with me too. I should be curled up next to him right now, not fleeing his room like it's a crime scene. But honesty, how could I stay there when I know in the end his loving me will only destroy him?

I pull my hoodie tighter embracing the distinct smell of Ash surrounding me. Inhaling deeply I pick up my pace intending to put as much distance between me and the swirling memories of his lips skimming over my skin.

-----

Walking through the front door to my house I realize I've left my phone on Ashton's nightstand. Swearing under my breath I lean against the fridge praying my mother doesn't call my cell anytime soon and that Ashton doesn't drop by to return it either. Hopefully he'll rope Michael into bringing it back somehow.