2022/03/22

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Dreams

Angelina had a locker that we resided in beside our family homes and the site was kept secret from the rest of our school. A girl that looked like Lilly from drama club shared the locker with us, but we had no idea and panicked as she grabbed someone else's books from a cubby above the locker. We knew we had to make room for her or get rid of our special place. Later that day, SLC was doing a little pep-rally thing and we met with them in the library. I had to leave to use the bathroom (or talk to a teacher, (IDR), and by the time I return, I see a sign saying "Survivor Day Library Time is Closed". I had managed to get in and tell some Karen lady who was working the library that day that I left my school stuff in there and she let me collect it. A bunch of students left their stuff in there and it was all sorted according to supply type. I grabbed all of my things and headed home. I went to Angelina's house and hung out in her basement with the rest of her family Then, my family and I said our goodbyes and headed home. They orderPapa Johns Pizza for us, so we ate in silence at home. Then, things that IDR began happening and they were intense.

Yeah...I literally COULD NOT SLEEP LAST NIGHT, and I think the reason is that my daily routines lack structure and accommodations to the differing schedules on select days of the week. Also, idk how I let myself dip so low. Something that once brought me joy is now a chore to complete, but at the same time, is worth making time for. I can't just spend all of my time obsessing over Camden. I want to focus on developing myself also, just like before. Before Camden, I was happy all on my own. I want to go back to those times. I was regularly posting on YouTube & working out, eating healthy, and was on top of my school work. My social life naturally flowed with the rest. Life is as glamorous as you make it...and I want it to be as romanticised as possible.

I need help :(

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