the glass girl

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I used to cover the mirrors in the dark when I was young

Not because I was afraid of myself

But I was afraid of what might be lurking in the corners

The hideous monsters that would escape the shadows of my room

Crawling into the glass to jump out at me

It's seemed we flipped the script

Now I don't cover the glass

Because I can't bear to let go.

In the mornings

I stumble across the cold, harsh floor

Make my way to the aging mirror

And stare till my eyes are aching and sore

Her devastating flaws stand out like a sore thumb

You can't look away from a train wreck

No matter how gruesome

No matter how heartbreaking.

People say I'm my parents child

That with one look, you can tell I'm my father's daughter

The glass girl stands before me

She doesn't see the similarities

Calls me a black sheep who can never compare

I run my fingers across my skin and try to find something real

My mother is so beautiful

My mother says she needs to lose weight

They say I look just like my mother.

Sometimes the world gets too heavy

And my shoulders sag under the weight

In the cramped room

I try to find safety and privacy

But the glass girl is waiting for me

Cries ring out

My knuckles are ghostly white

The water runs, static on my ears

I hope it's loud enough to muffle the screams that come from the small space

When I face the glass girl

The fear is so loud

I've been told it's ok to be afraid, it's ok to miss the past

But I hate the nights I spend on the floor avoiding her gaze

She'll always be here with me

One day, I fear I'll fall right into the mirror

And no one will notice the difference.

I should cover the mirrors

The glass girl and I should take a break

She terrifies me, because I can't tell fiction from reality

The glass girl and I will never get along

So I'll try to cover my mirrors

And leave her there.

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