My Haunted Life Without You

Chapter 4

     Entering the house, was probably the dumbest move I have ever made. I should have just camped out in my car and changed into the emergency clothes I had stashed in my trunk. No. That was too simple. I knew what I was getting myself into, especially since it is the one day where my dad has uncontrolled hatred towards me. My birthday. The day that marked our mother walking out on us. He hates me more on my birthday because he knows it's my fault. He despises the day, but not as much as I do.
     I had to get up and pretend like nothing happened. However, the horrifying events that took place kept playing in my head. It was as if my brain was a broken record.
Flashback:
I crept through the front door, careful not to catch my father's attention. Tiptoeing to my room, I heard a loud groan. I knew he was waking up, so I picked up the pace. I was almost to my room, to my safety, when a floor board creaked under my feet. I gulped, and tried to escape, but it was too late. I felt his hot hands grab my neck, jerking me forwards to face him. "You're late. What did I tell you about being late?" he slurred out. I knew apologizing wouldn't help, so I stayed silent, hoping my lack of words would calm him down. It did not.
     He pulled me by the hair and slammed me against the wall. "Cat got your tongue now?" He breathed into my face, which reeked of alcohol. "No sir, I am sorry for being late, it won't happen again." He seemed to relax, but my phone vibrated, grasping his attention. Without hesitation, he ripped my phone out of my pocket, reading the message from Paul.
Happy birthday sis! Can't believe you are 18! I know you don't like to celebrate your birthday, but the guys and I want to spoil you cause you spoil us. Please don't be mad, it's just you deserve a treat for once. Anyways goodnight and see you in the morning!
"Well that was awfully sweet of Paul. But I disagree with him completely. You don't deserve a good birthday. Hell you don't deserve a birthday at all. Because of your birth, your mother became distant. You took her from me! She left because of your stupid, sickly pale face! She left because you were a horrible child that was always selfish and clingy. You were a bad child and you know what bad children deserve?" I knew what was coming, I just didn't care. He was right she left because of me, I deserved to be punished. "Punishment." With that, he threw my phone on the ground, shattering the screen. He used his free hand to punch me in the gut repeatedly. I felt as though I was about to puke. Before I could even vomit, he shifted to my face punching it repeatedly, whispering, "Maybe this will add some color to your ugly face." I could feel my face swelling, knowing I'd be applying a lot of makeup in the morning.
     When he was satisfied with that, he threw me on the ground. I thought it was over, this is usually where it stops, but tonight was different. Tonight he was angrier, making it hard for him to find a stopping point. He kneeled down to my level, "Now that you are an adult, you think you're better than me huh? Well news flash, you're not. The guys may love you right now, but they don't know who you truly are. They don't realize you wreck relationships faster than you make them. You're a parasite that needs to be exterminated. Once they realize that, they will leave you and realize they never loved you. You're unlovable." He stood up, watching the tears escape my eyes. I never cry when he does this, but the thought of the guys, of Sam, leaving me hurt me to my core. I had grown so fond of them; however, I knew he was right. That's why I had a few friends. No one can handle me, no one can love me for too long. I just drain the love out of them without trying. They always leave, it is inevitable.
      He kicked my stomach with a force I didn't know he had. "You" kick "don't" kick "deserve" kick "love!" My ribs were on fire and my vision was becoming splotchy. "I wish you were never born." With that he kicked me in the ribs one last time, causing my vision to become black, as I slipped out of consciousness.
End of flashback
      I stared at my complexion in the mirror. I knew it was going to be bad. I rarely passed out after a beating. Carefully, I applied foundation onto the swollen wounds that covered my face. I had a black eye and a broken lip as well; I didn't know how I was going to cover it up. I'd have to come up with another lie. This was common, people just believe I am extremely clumsy, I have become quite the good liar. However, I knew Paul would figure it out. He knows what dad is capable of and he knows what I have to endure on my birthday. My goal was simple: make breakfast quickly, come up with an excuse to leave, and leave without them noticing the marks left from the night prior.
       I finished up my makeup routine, which only hid the wounds a little, and headed to my car. I parked my car, praying that my plan would work. So far so good, I thought to myself. The boys didn't run out today, which means they are either extremely tired or aren't back from their responsibilities yet. I shuffled inside, noticing no one was around. Getting right to work, I decided a quick breakfast and lunch would be best. I put bagels in the toaster and made bacon, to eat for breakfast and use in the wraps I was making for lunch. I finished up breakfast, without the boys disturbing me. This didn't last long though, because as soon as I got the ingredients to make wraps out, I heard the door swing open. Great.
     "Happy Birthday Piper!" Jared said in a sing songy tone. "Yes Happy Birthday Piper! I'm so glad you have become a part of our lives," Sam added. I was glad to be a part of their lives, but I knew I needed to keep conversations to a minimum. The more I talked to them, the more my guard would be let down. I can not loose focus and risk Paul seeing the damage done. I mumbled a quick thanks, pretending to stay focused on making wraps for lunch. The boys sat at the table, where I had placed all the food and drinks. I had to keep the food away from any view of my face. "You ok Piper?" Paul asked, noticing my change in behavior from normal. "I'm fine. Just have a lot to do today. Once I'm done with these wraps I need to bounce. I have plans with Kim." I hate lying to my brother, but this is for his own protection. He would feel guilty if he saw I was beat this badly, blaming himself for not being there to defend me. Plus, Sam and Jared could never find out the pain we endure.
    "Really? That's weird, Kim and I made plans to go to Port Angeles today. I didn't know she invited you." I completely forgot Jared and Kim were talking. I used that excuse all the time with Paul because he didn't know her well enough to know I wasn't actually with her. I was caught red-handed. "Piper, what's going on? Why are you lying to us?" Paul sounded a mix of angry and pained. He trusted me to always tell him the truth, I just couldn't, not today. "Well, uh, I actually, uh-" "Piper! Tell me what's going on! Look me in the face and tell me!" I didn't budge, which infuriated him further. I heard his chair screech against the floor, and loud footsteps approached me. I grabbed onto the counter, hoping I could keep him for spinning me around. I felt his warm hands grab my wrists, and tug me forwards.
       A loud growl sounded through the air, "He did this to you didn't he?" I looked up to see anger laced in his features, nodding my head, only made things worse. He let go of my wrists, running out the door. Jared and Sam stared at the marks on my face, causing me to hide my face. I turned around, embarrassed, wishing they never saw me like this. Warm hands gently grabbed my shoulders, spinning me into their warm, bare chest. His warmth and smell calmed my nerves, making me feel better already. I felt him clear his throat, vibrating his body, "Paul isn't mad at you and we don't find you weak because of this. You are so strong and brave. You have been through so much. I'm sorry I didn't realize sooner that your dad abused you too. I hoped that your dad refrained from hurting you. You don't have to talk about it, but if you want to I'm always here for you." I sobbed into his chest, finally letting my feelings out. Sam held me as I cried and told him what happened. When he heard what my dad said and did to me, he started to shake lightly. "We would never leave you. We all love you so much! He is a no-good drunk that is jealous of his beautiful daughter. And your mom leaving has nothing to do with you. Everyone knows she left because your dad was awful to her and she felt lonely. She told Billy she couldn't deal with it any longer, that she had to get away. No one blames you for her walking away from this town, not even Paul." "They should blame me, it is my fault! She left on my birthday for crying out loud! I told her I wasn't going to eat my cake because it was chocolate and I asked for vanilla. I pushed her away because I was selfish and never saw the effort she put into my party. I was a naughty child that never saw I was pushing her away from our family."
    He pulled me away from him and said lowly, "Piper, you need to understand that you were a child. Every child is naughty and needy, it's part of childhood. I was a bad child too and my dad walked out on us. I blamed myself for years, but eventually I learned that blaming myself wasn't going to bring him back. At the end of the day, it was his choice to leave, I didn't force him out. The difference is that my mother never put the blame on me, she never hurt me. We worked through it together, the way it is supposed to be. You don't deserve this." He lightly rubbed the marks on my face. "Now that you are eighteen, why don't you move out?" I chuckled, "I would if I had somewhere to go and I could take Paul. I will never leave Paul alone to handle my father's wrath." He smiled, "Well than why don't you and Paul move in here?"