Love in the Shadows (Book 2)

Chapter 8

"Me either." I reply, feeling guilty that I also caused him to have a restless night.

He doesn't say anything, just leans back on the counter and takes a sip of his coffee. I hate that he won't even look at me, considering normally we can't keep our eyes off of each other.

I walk towards him, slowly, carefully, needing to make sure I show him that I'm still  with him, but not wanting to push it if he still needs some time. "Steve..." I whisper, and I can't keep the torment out of my voice.

He looks up, as if out of instinct to check on me when he hears me in pain. He looks at me with such a protective gaze, before seemingly remembering that he's upset with me and bringing his eyes back down.

I take another step closer, reaching the opposite end of the counter that he is on. "Steve, I want to apologize for how I acted yesterday." I say, deciding to just say my piece and leave him alone for a bit, because it seems to be what he needs right now. He looks up again, this time with a confused look, and it's clear he wasn't expecting me to say that. "Everything you said and every concern you're having is completely understandable, and I was wrong for invalidating what you were saying. And even more for accusing you of adjusting your feelings towards me based on the situation."

I step closer, hoping I'm not pushing this. "I've been selfish," I admit, knowing he deserves so much better than I've been giving him. "And throughout this whole issue with Loki I didn't consider how it would make you feel, and I'm sorry." I'm standing next to him now, and as much as I want to reach out for him, touch him, I don't think he's there yet. So instead I place my hand on the counter, gripping the edge to try and control myself. "Look Steve, I want to help him," I say, knowing I can't deny that fact. "But I'm not willing to lose you to do it."

His eyes widen a bit, like he's actually shocked that I said that.

"And the fact that you seem so surprised to hear me say that shows me just how badly I fucked up." I say, wanting to hug him so bad. "I love you Steve." I look at him, hoping this isn't something he needs to be reminded of. "Nothing is ever going to change that."

He's been quiet this entire time, my only indication that he's hearing me are his facial reactions, and they're not exactly providing me any reassurance. But I'm not doing this to get comfort for myself, this is for him.

He opens his mouth as if to say something, but then looks away, as if unsure what to even think about it.

"It's okay, you don't have to say anything." I quickly let out, the awkwardness of the silence getting to me. "You can take as much time as you need to...you know..." Although considering I don't know what I'm trying to say, I doubt he knows. I mean, I don't want to force him to accept my apology or just get over everything because I gave it to him. "I just wanted to make sure you knew that I was sorry." I say and suddenly I realize I'm awkwardly rambling now. "Okay...I'm going to go now. I'll see you later...or not if you don't want...to."

Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

"Okay." I finally say, before turning around, feeling my cheeks go red.

I take one step before feeling a hand grab onto my wrist. I barely get a chance to turn around when Steve pulls me back, pinning me between him and the counter.

"Ste–" I don't even get his full name out when his hand grips the back of my neck and he slams his mouth onto me. He moves his lips against mine, hard and rough, passionately...possessively, barely giving me a chance to breathe. His other hand grabs my hips, gripping hard as he pushes himself into me, the counter behind me practically digging into my back. He brings one knee in between my legs and lifts it up, pressing it against my center. It feels so damn good that I have to clutch onto his shoulders as I let out a gasp. Steve takes this opportunity to slip his tongue into my mouth, licking and tasting as I let out a moan.