How hard could it be? • LM / SS

Chapter 82

She knew what she had done was wrong, and she had to live with that every single day. But they were trying and barely anyone would give them a chance! Was it something personal, because she was Kate's child? The whole lot of them had given other people who had done far worse second chances, so why were they out to get her?

But if you were dead, why could they feel a pinching sensation in her arm, almost like they were being stung by wasps. And why was it so dark! Christ, they couldn't see anything, not even to check what their stomach looked like. Would you be fully healed in heaven? Well, she was in hell, so she'd never know the answer anyway. There would probably be a large hole in their stomach, that would sit there, being of no use until the end of eternity.

And there was that faint ringing sound back again, just to fill the silence with an even more annoying noise. Or maybe it was the silence, and because it was so quiet, they were imagining it all.

But she couldn't be imagining that white light that was starting to grow, filling up the darkness until they could see nothing because of the headache that was splitting through her temple. God, her head was going to literally break into two, and then the only thing left would be the soul.

Their soul that was going to just float around in this mixture of darkness and light until it finally made up it's mind.

And then the ringing stopped, the faint sound of a steady beeping and worried voices making their way through. Was this just some new form of torture? Was any of this even real? And why could they hear everything but nothing at the same time, like their ears were filled with water, stopping her from hearing what they were saying clearly?

Oh. That was new; a falling sensation, like that dream that you had where you were about to hit the ground, but you woke up in the nick of time. And she could see the ground, make it out from where they were in the air, and she was a hundred percent sure if she wasn't already dead, they would be in a few seconds.

And throughout their life, though they hadn't been the most religious person in the world- hell, they didn't even know what they believed in at this point- she started to pray. Hoping that by some miracle, she'd wake up before she hit the ground. Or at least that if it took them out, that it wouldn't be painful. Quick and easy.

But then another thought surfaced, a valid thought, pointing out that maybe she didn't deserve to have a quick and easy death. Maybe it had to be painful for her to realise how much pain they had inflicted on all the others.

But the ground was inching closer and closer. If she reached out, their hand would be grazing the gravel, basically consuming her whole. The countdown started.

Three; arms held out in front of them, hoping to catch herself when she made contact with the ground.

Two; eyes closed, praying until the words became a jumbled up chant, taking over every available space in their brain.

One.

                                          ~

"You're okay, you're fine," Max yelled, gently grabbing Lilith by one collarbone, Kira taking the other as they pushed them back onto the metal table. The redhead's bracelets clinked against the surface as she tried to fight off the panic attack, finally after realising they hadn't hit the ground.

She fought off the hands that were trying to hold them down, pulling off the oxygen mask that was attached to her paling face and trying to rip out the needles that were pushed into both arms.

They didn't get that far, Scott taking her hands in his own, and demonstrating deep breaths, something he'd learnt worked when people were having panic attacks. His brown eyes met Lilith's terrified and tearful blue, as Deaton attached the oxygen mask back onto their face. "You're alright. You hear me? You're okay."