System Reboot || DC

Chapter Twenty

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Nightmares & Stitches

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--- First POV ---

There's a type of suffocation that comes with doing nothing. I lay in bed like a comatose patient. I am becoming more and more aware of the numbness in my limbs. A prickling sensation that crawls down each nerve in my body, a cold fire that burns away at my will to move.

I feel myself being pulled into a deeper dissociation by this growing sense of disconnection from my surroundings. My eyes open and close without any sense of me as I stare at the ceiling.

I am not afraid, but something about the emptiness around me feels wrong. It feels wrong to be staring up at the ceiling as though I am awaiting death.

The emptiness is unsettling, yet there is nothing in sight besides the bland white of the plaster. In a state where everything looks dull and distant, the only things that are truly distinct are the shadows creeping across the walls and floor. Cast downward by the artificial yellow light bulbs that serve as my only light.

The shadows seem to grow larger as the hour's pass. I was swimming around and rippling my vision like water. Distorting everything into an endless stillness.

Something begins to stir inside me. It feels like someone is grabbing my ribs and trying to sink my skeleton through my skin. Making me more aware of the mattress below me. I try to lift my arms from my sides. I tried to push myself away from the bed, but no matter how much I move or pull, I can't seem to move. As if my limbs were sown into the sheets. No matter how desperately I command myself to move, the stitches do not give.

My breath catches in my throat as the pressure increases, pushing itself even farther into my lungs.

This void is drowning me.

The darkness grows thicker and darker until the shadows merge into an impenetrable black. Everything becomes indistinguishable. There's no room for anything else. Even the sound I hear is muffled and distorted, as though I'm underwater.

It feels like there's no air left in my lungs and my heart has been ripped out of my chest. Leaving behind an emptiness that burns.

I'm drowning and I don't know how to breathe.

This feeling is familiar.

A living nightmare that I can't escape.

Sleep paralysis.

There's a sudden shift, a rift that slices straight and true. It breaks apart the darkness and allows that ugly yellow light to shine through. Something brushes against my skin, a warm clammy hand that brushes against my face. Gentle and unsure. Afraid of frightening me by its sudden appearance.

But it does, and it fucking shocks my disgruntled soul back into my body.

My hand reaches out in reflex, smacking away the thing that hovers over my body. The thing grunts and I wince at a sharp, burning, tug at my shoulder. The thing, the person, returns to push me deeper into the mattress. In fear of sinking again, I thrash and scream.

"Fucks sake, Jocelyn. Stop struggling!" The person yells out, his voice deep and cracked from sleep.

I recognize their voices, their scents, their touches. I stop struggling and allow my eyes to adjust to the light. As dark blurs fade into color and wobbling shapes solidify, I'm staring at a grimacing Damian.