Konosuba - Megumin x Reader

Chapter 5: The Shopping Trip!

The day after the cabbage hunt. We were seating at the guild table and-

"What'd you say?! I caught so many cabbages! How is that even possible?!"

-Aqua was already making a commotion.

"W-Well, most of what you caught is actually lettuce..."

"Why is there lettuce mixed in?!" She had the guild receptionist by the shirt, which almost made her breasts fall out, and was shaking her violently.

"Well, lettuce does have low redemption rate." Darkness said beside me,looking at the receptionist intensely.

"I don't even want to know what she's imagining right now."

"Hah... ah..." I turned to the moanig voice only to find-

"The luster of this Manatite staff brimming with magical power~ Hah... haah..."

-Megumin who was humping her staff in the corner of the guild...

"I don't know how but, she is even worse than Darkness right now..."

"Wha-? What do you mean 'worse than Darkness'?!" That's what she said, but I'm pretty sure she was only turned on by it.

"Yeah, I thought that you were the one in charge of the erotic stuff." Kazuma said, not even looking at her. His gaze was focused on Aqua, who was approaching him. Sensing the trouble he only frowned and looked away.

"'Erotic stu-' Ahhf... you guys don't show any mercy... hah."

After the display of the 'noble example of a crusader' Aqua finally reached her target.

"Oh, Ka- zu- ma- san~ How much did you get from the cabbage hunt yesterday~?" She spoke in an uncharacteristic cheery tone.

Kazuma only glanced at her and immediately averted his gaze.

"... About a million."

""""HUH?!"""" All four of us gasped collectively. Because of the unfortunate accident when I was almost one-tapped by a vegetable, I only made about 300 000 Eris.

"Kazumaaa, my man!" I quickly wrapped my hand around his neck and pulled him close.

"My fellow countryman! We've known each other for so long! Surely you-" I was interrupted when he swiftly got out of my bro hug and said:

"Get off of me, you greedy idiot! We know each other only for two days! And you're not one of my countrymen; you're not even from Japan!"

Let's see how will he act when he loses all his money and comes begging to me.

Aqua who didn't learn from my mistakes, also wanted some cash.

"K-Kazuma-san~ I thought this for a while now, but you're-"

"No. Don't even try. I'm not giving any of you even one measly eris."

"...K-Kazuma-san! I thought I'd make a fortune with this quest, so I spent all my money-"

"Like I care!"

Soon they were at each other's throats, and the three of us could only watch the scene unfold.

"...So, what did you guys buy with all the money from the quest?" A quick change of topic. I didn't have any interest in listening to those two bickering with each other.

"Oh, that's right Y/N! Check out this mighty staff! Its power is so compelling, I just... hah-"

"OK, I've heard enough. Darkness?"