SNOWBARRY: Sometimes Runs, Sometimes Can't

Chapter 1

"Iris! Just meeting with Cisco and Caitlin," he said looking down at his hands full of orders.

 "This is, what you'd say, just one of those quirky things we do at the lab" He chuckled. " It's my turn to bring coffee to work and yeah". 

Rambling. He was rambling a bit, his palms were sweating and, wait, was he nervous? 

That's certainly some old news. He'd tried to make peace with his situation ever since Iris got together with Eddie, but the way she looked at him today. Those eyes. 

No. He should focus.

She bit her smile and perhaps to save him and herself to a degree, from another indeed fun lab routine fact , she asked:

"Sure. Speaking of colleagues. How's Caitlin doing? She seemed a bit lost. Ehm, sad the last time I saw her." She corrected herself quickly.

"Lost? Why would she look lost?" Barry frowned. Going through all the things that went down the past few weeks. 

Maybe she missed Ronnie. Sometimes Caitlin would go back to missing him terribly, but Barry thought that, too, was part of the process of healing. Moving on.

Barry'd promised he'd be there for her whether she wanted it or not.
No one should go through this alone, especially his friends. And they had become friends, very good friends actually, and as such, it didn't feel right discussing her personal life with Iris.
It felt inappropriate. Not his story to tell.

"Oh sorry, maybe I'm mistaken, but with everything going on I thought...." Iris said guiltily, as if noticing the discomfort the comment had caused.

"No, I think she's fine... I really gotta run, though. Coffee's getting cold and all", his throat got a little dry and although he tried to sound as normal as possible, he couldn't help his facial expression. 

Now he definitely needed to talk to Caitlin.

Iris was used to watching him go. Always in a hurry. Always running late. But for a second, she thought she noticed something new, the way he'd just reacted. 

She didn't dwell on it too much, though, because after all, Barry was a caring friend, and that was what she loved about him the most.

***

"Still hot. Almost hit record time" Barry muttered as he arrived back at S.T.A.R. Labs. 

He almost stumbled when he noticed that Dr. Wells was already there.

Barry swallowed heavily. Now there were two reasons for him to feel uncomfortable. 

He frowned at the three cups in his hands and realised that on top of everything, he's not getting his coffee today, as he handed his go-to, two sugars and a pinch of cinnamon order to Dr.Wells.

"Thank you, Barry. Right on time. Wondered if you're up for a test run today?" Dr.Wells asked assessing Barry's every reaction. He was always pushing Barry to go faster.

"Yeah, certainly." Barry replied swiftly. As much as he wanted to improve his speed, today he mostly agreed so that Caitlin would run tests on him and they could finally talk.

Time flew by.

Six and a half hours on the treadmill barely broke him into a sweat and when practice ended, Dr. Wells seemed relatively pleased with the progress, and had finally left for the day. 

Cisco was grabbing some food, so Barry finally got a moment alone with Cait, as she prepared to run her tests.

Barry was used to taking off his shirt in front of her by now, but it still made him smile when she blushed. As if she hadn't seen him before. As if this was the first time. 

He was not proud of it, but he found himself enjoying it a little bit too much. 

"What is it, Caitlin? You know you can talk to me, right?" Barry finally let out, thinking of what Iris had mentioned about Caitlin looking... lost.

"Barry, don't worry. I'm fine. I just...need some rest." Caitlin replied.

"I know you, Caitlin. Talk to me. You don't have to go through things on your own. You have us," he said softly, while she held his stare.

They were alone in the lab now but she knew what he meant.
Them.
Cisco and Barry, they'd been there for her before. She'd been there for them.

Barry blinked, waiting for a response.  

Barry's gaze lingered, searching for any signs, the soft curve of her lips, the smooth silk of her skin. Nothing. No sign of fatigue, or fever. She was not ill.

Yes, her eyes were a touch distant, yet that familiar sparkle remained.He might have kept cataloguing every detail if she hadn't moved, turning to reach for something behind her.

When she faced him again her face was blank. Lips, a straight line.

She carefully placed a heart rate monitor on his chest, as her fingers brushed his skin, gently.
Warm, soft fingers. Her touch gave him goosebumps. A strange feeling. 

Then she finally spoke.

"Barry, why are you insisting on this?" He'd braced himself for a reply, but the look she gave him wasn't the cliche retort he'd been expecting, it carried something sharper, something he couldn't quite name.

He straightened. "It just feels like we're back where we started. Right at the beginning. When you didn't smile much." He paused, still not breaking eye contact. "What happened? I want to help".

He meant it.

Caitlin kept silent for a moment.

A part of her wanted to scream out loud. Scream about what the real reason was.
The other part, the logical one, told her it was absurd and utterly unacceptable.

"Cait?" he prompted gently. Noticing her posture stiffening as if making a decision.

"I'm sorry. It's nothing. I'll try to... smile more" she finally said, battling her thoughts.

I'll try to smile more?  Really?  

Barry knew he shouldn't push further, but he had a few heartfelt speeches prepared and he was not going to let this go this easily. 

Just as he drew a breath to go on, ready to tell Caitlin she didn't need to force a smile, that he only wanted to help make things better, the door swung open.

Cisco stepped in first, a pizza box balanced in one hand, Joe right behind him. The easy chatter of their arrival shattered the moment.

***

"Barry! We have something. We're planning to go to Joe's office to check out the evidence...on you know who." Cisco said eyes pointing to the Dr. Wells' office.

"And you, Barry, finally get to play a real cop. I've downloaded the recordings from the security cameras," Cisco winked.

"So.... I can finally check for any unusual activities by Wells when nobody's around," Barry grinned, as he finished Cisco's thought.

No! Not the cameras. Caitlin's brain scrambled.

There had never been cameras inside the actual labs. Too much sensitive tech, too many risks. But ever since Joe reopened Nora Allen's case, he'd pressed Cisco to put up a few temporary ones...just for security. She just remembered...

"And... Caitlin-" Cisco met her eyes, and without even thinking she'd finished his sentence for him.

"I'm going to help Barry-" BURN THE FOOTAGE. She wanted to say. But she just smiled assertively.

She didn't care that she'd just assigned herself to a task without any reason. Cisco probably wanted her to tag along. But not today.

She had to be here. Had to be here for when Barry saw yesterday's footage.

Shit. 

She knew exactly what that meant.

This couldn't be happening to her. 

No. She tried to shake her head hoping she'd wake up from the dream that was yesterday.

The dream in which they caught Everyman.

The day he'd shape-shifted into Barry Allen and kissed her.
The day she'd wanted to, forgot herself, and kissed him back.